July 08, 2007

Custer and His Naked Ladies

Custer and His Naked Ladies

by Janelle Meraz Hooper
(Back cover)

When her husband unexpectedly dumps her, Glory boards an Oklahoma-bound plane at the Sea-Tac Airport. On her way to the ticket counter, she takes the framed photo of her husband out of her gym bag and dumps it into the nearest trash bin—frame and all. She has wasted too many years on a man who doesn’t want her, and her biological clock is beginning to pound like a powwow drum.

Part Hispanic, part Anglo, and raised on the reservation, Glory hopes that by going back to her roots she’ll discover who she is, but her home is in turmoil. Her greedy stepmother has returned, a group of dysfunctional mobsters wants her mother’s land on the Indian reservation to build a casino, her pastor cousin is kidnapped in Mexico while on a mission, and Glory’s beloved turtles are in an environmental crisis. When the mob tries to kill her, Glory counts herself as being an endangered species!

Her biggest problem of all may be Soap, a sexy Comanche lawyer who wants to do something about that powwow drum pounding in her head…

Sprinkled with Spanish phrases and Comanche words, Custer and His Naked Ladies is full of Southwest flavor.
A fun read! The last book in my Turtle Trilogy.
Although this book stands alone, it is the third book in a Turtle Trilogy, and the characters in the first two books reappear for one last time in Custer and His Naked Ladies. I’m going to miss them.

June 09, 2007

Safe sex

Now at the Publisher!


A few words from Pauline in Custer and His Naked Ladies, my soon to be published fourth book:
That evening, the women paraded into Grace's kitchen, each carefully stepping over two green cicadas that were mating on the hemp rug in front of the door. Last in line, Pauline purposely squashed the two bugs when she stepped on the mat. Then, she looked back at the insects over her shoulder and asked, "You didn't practice safe sex, did you?" When the women scowled at her, she pouted, "Well, they were done anyway."

Quote du jour:
"If I knew I were to die tomorrow, I'd write faster." Isaac Asimov

May 28, 2007

Summer Is comin'!


A summer story from my Free Pecan Pie and Other Chick Stories book...
Summer Spending

A few words to my high school readers…
Allll-right! Summer's comin'! Gonna PARTY! Gonna KICKBACK! Gonna slap some Coppertone!
Gonna sleep until the soaps come on, then drag into the kitchen, grab a can of pop, wrestle the remote control away from your little brother and just VEGGGG...
Sure sounds like a plan right now. After all, you're tired. Not only that, but you're so burned out from studying all winter that you can't even read the side of a box of cereal without getting a knot in your stomach.
Next, you're going to tell me that you haven't even THOUGHT about getting a JOB this summer. I can hear you telling me that, "Summer is too short anyway, and you want to savor every ray of sun that manages to survive it's voyage through the ozone layer..."
Sounds good to me! But the only trouble with short, hot summers is that, all too soon, they turn into long cold, dark winters. The only way that they can be colder or darker is if you're broke, and have to pass on some of life's little pleasures: like a really neat concert (you'll KNOW it was really neat because your friends who'll go will talk about it until you threaten to squirt mustard all over their souvenir tee-shirts). Or, maybe you'll crave a new CD, or a really hot sweatshirt that's so bright it'll make your chemistry teacher put on sunglasses. And don't forget, when it gets dark and cold, you're going to need some REAL food. You know, the snack kind your mom won't buy...there's probably some hidden right now under your bed!
Okay, so what it comes down to is two choices:
1. Work some this summer (I said SOME, let's not get crazy about this!) or
2. Work during the school year, when you're already stressed over studying for tests. You could even be forced by a lack of funds to work on prom night, homecoming, or (EEEK!) graduation!
Of course, you can decide not to work at all. In which case, you'll probably have to watch old Tex Ritter movies on the square box while everyone else in your group is at the latest Bruce Willis thriller.
Or, needless to say, if you've been born with a silver remote control in your hand, you can skip all this, PASS GO, pick up $200, and go straight to Ticketmaster! Not rich? You're going to need some MONEY!
If you're having trouble developing enthusiasm for working during your summer break, it might help to remember that you're young. You'll bounce back after a few day's rest when school is out. You don't NEED a WHOLE summer to "do nothing". The trouble is, by the time you get rested up, all the good jobs will be taken. The time to start looking is now!
Moreover, waaay before summer is over, you're going to long for the feel of a wooden desk cutting across your back. You're even going to start to miss that kid who always has a plastic pencil holder in his shirt pocket (HE'S the guy I always tried to sit behind in math classes!). You MIGHT even start to miss the school lunches (welll...probably not!).
Just think how much more bearable winter will be with a little money in your pocket. And think of the extra time you'll have to finish that killer term paper! When it's over, you'll have some funds to kickback and take in a movie and a pizza! Wow! Extra money, better grades, and more school activities...all it'll take is one itty-bitty summer job!

Quote du jour:
Ride the horse the direction it's going." Pat Finley



May 15, 2007

Green is back!



5-15-07-An email sent to me by a friend—he took this photo of a woman he spotted reading my book at a Fourth of July picnic. What a kick it was to get this! I guess it doesn't take much to thrill a writer.

Green- Remember when green was a color in a Crayola box? After that, people could be described as green with envy. Remember Mean Joe Green? Now, the new color is green. Green as in trees. Green as in clean air. Green as in environmental green. ‘Bout time. Let’s hope it’s not too late.


Custer and His Naked Ladies- Still waiting on an agent or publisher.

Living on a Rocky Beach…Surviving Arthritis-A CD text project that may be too scary to publish. Remember. Folks, this is not the normal arthritis scenario. Some of us just excel in areas that should be left alone. Not only that, but this very small book would make a terrible movie!

QUOTE DU JOUR:
"I'm a comedian...but in my spare time, things bother me." Gary Shandling, courtesy of Bill Mahrer's Real Time

April 10, 2007

Imus needs to be slapped!

Mariner's spring training, Peoria
4-10-07- Photo: I call this research…
Imus-The comment by Imus about the Rutger’s Women’s Basketball Team offended me in so many ways, but it also triggered a childhood memory: whenever the men in our community decided to divorce their wife, she suddenly became a whore. Even more fascinating, their friends would back them up, and parrot the lies all over town as if they were God’s honest truth. I don’t know if this was just a Southern thing, or if other men in the Northern states used the same justification for leaving the wife and kids. What about men in other parts of the world? Did they do the same thing? Maybe so. I’ve decided that this ritual occurs because it is the most hurtful thing an angry man can say to a woman. If this is true, then what made Imus so angry with a women’s basketball team—none of which he’d never met? By the way, it’s called a women’s basketball team, but these girls are ages 17-22 years.
Somebody needs to be slapped!
Quote du jour:
Say it loud: “I’m black and I’m proud.” (song) James Brown

March 29, 2007

Nero returns...

Janelle in front of book display at Borders, Tacoma

3-29-07-Did anyone see Karl Rove jumping around on stage at the correspondents' dinner last night? Didn't it remind you of Nero fiddling while Rome burned?
Quote du jour:
"I refused to attend his funeral, but I wrote a very nice letter explaining that I approved of it." Mark Twain, courtesy of The Quote Geek

March 26, 2007

Sako's Nightmare



Come see me!
April 26 (Thursday), 2007, 6:30-8:30 PM
Chloe Park Elementary School
1700 Palisade Blvd., Dupont, WA

3-26-07-Today, I've been thinking about a chapter I wrote in A Three-Turtle Summer. Ya'll remember it's just fiction, except for the parts that are true...

8. Sako’s Nightmare

I'm having trouble getting the indents to stick, so I've added some color so you'll know where the next paragraph starts...


Even though Sako’s kitchen door was open, she didn’t hear the goings on at Grace’s. She was busy getting her two boys bathed and put to bed. In better times, when a young woman had more choices, people might have questioned the wisdom of a young girl marrying a man who already had two children, especially when one of them was bedridden. But Sako looked at her charges as a sacred trust—victims of a war they had no part in. How strange that they were caught in the vice of a decision made by a president hundreds of miles away.
When President Roosevelt signed executive order #9066, it destroyed lives far beyond those it was meant to affect. The net that Roosevelt, Herbert Hoover, General John De Witt, and others threw out over the land caught not only Japanese, Germans, and Italians who were considered to be potential threats to national security, but others who were not even on the subversive list. It was like a salmon net cast out over deep waters that caught a hundred other unwanted species of fish in its seine.
This time, the net brought in a whole array of victims: American wives of immigrants who had their citizenship stripped away by the Cable Act of 1916: old women who had lost sons when the Arizona went down and then were forced to move to internment camps. German and Italian men who were separated from their families and scattered in camps all over the country, and children, like Sergeant Hill’s, whose mother died from fear, even though she wasn’t meant to be caught in the net at all.
Roosevelt.
Hoover.
De Witt.
Sako
always looked through the paper when Sergeant Hill wasn’t around, so he wouldn’t see her bite her lip and twist her hair tightly around her finger as she skimmed every news story for their names. She looked for numbers too. Numbers like 9066 and 1916. Any number that could mean future trouble for her or her family. She didn’t believe for a minute that it could never happen again.


Elizabeth Hill, Sergeant Hill’s first wife, had become paralyzed with fear when she read about the internments on the front page of her hometown newspaper. She had an Italian grandmother on one side of her family and a German grandfather on the other. Although they’d held citizenship papers for years, Elizabeth became obsessed with the fear that they would be rounded up and stripped of their citizenship. She even feared for herself.
She worried so much about being labeled an enemy alien that she began to drink. Next came Elizabeth’s nightmares, Sergeant Hill had told Sako. Night after night, she dreamed about government men who took her away in the middle of the night, never to see her boys again. Over and over in her dreams, she awoke to men in dark suits with their hats pulled low over their foreheads who dragged her out of her home by her foot, her nightgown trailing behind her. One G-man always had her Philco radio tucked underneath his arm, and said it was proof that she was a spy.
Sergeant Hill tried to reassure her that she was safe, and that the stories she heard about government men who broke down doors in the middle of the night and took away men and their short-wave radios were largely exaggerated. It wouldn’t happen to her; all of her relatives had been citizens for years.
One night, government men broke into the house across the street, and the Italian man who’d lived there with his family for years was hauled off. Weeks later, his family got a letter postmarked Ft. Missoula, where an internment camp for Italians had been set up.
Elizabeth was on the edge. After she saw in the headlines that more citizens had been rounded up, the weeks and weeks of no sleep and too much booze drove Elizabeth to leave her boys and drive her car off a cliff. Soon after that, Sergeant Hill was ordered to report to a new assignment in Arizona. The assignment turned out to be the Japanese internment camp at Poston.
For the Army, the tenderhearted sergeant was the worst person they could have sent to Poston. For the captives, he was a blessing. During his assignment, he adopted several Japanese families, one of them Sako’s. He made each one as comfortable as possible and earned a place in their hearts forever.
Just before the camp closed in 1946, he and Sako knew they were in love and were married in front of the whole camp. Sergeant Hill, a small man of thirty-six years with dark hair and thick eyeglasses, wore his uniform. Sako had a real wedding gown sewn from white satin with seed pearls around the neck, a purchase made from one of the Sear’s catalogs that the interned community shared. In fact, her trousseau and the clothes for the entire wedding party came from the mail order catalog. It was the only way the internees could shop.


And now, each night, as Sako tucked the two boys into bed, she would say a prayer for Elizabeth, Sergeant Hill, and the two boys she guarded with her life. On her way out of their room, she always put her hands together and made a tiny bow in front of the little gold frame that held Elizabeth’s picture that hung on the wall near the light switch. “Your children are safe for the night,” she would whisper, “may God give you peace.”
In the hottest part of the day, when the women sat behind their makeshift quarters in the only available shade in the neighborhood, Sako could count at least three other women who must have felt Elizabeth’s fear: two German women, and one Italian, but none of them ever mentioned Executive Order #9066, or the Cable Act of 1916. It was a secret shame that made them feel helpless. Made them feel like second class citizens.
Besides, who knew who could be trusted? Best not to talk about it. It was easier for Sako to talk about what had happened with someone who hadn’t been there. Someone who didn’t come to the conversation with a head full of memories and a heart full of sadness. Maybe someone who had her own problems, like Grace.
Not that the subject often came up. But one time, when Sako sat in the shade with the other women, one of the newer, uppity wives managed to get Sako riled up.
“Where were you when the atom bombs hit, Sako?” she asked.
“I was in Poston,” Sako answered.
“Is that near Hiroshima?” the young woman asked.
“Poston was an internment camp in Arizona. Our government invited a bunch of us to stay there during the war. Where were you, Palm Springs?”
“Oh,” the young wife stammered, still confused, “I thought you were Japanese.”
“I’m as American as you are,” Sako snapped, “Maybe more. I’m American enough to have seen the dirty side of freedom—American enough to have seen my mother lose her home, her heart, and maybe her soul.” Sako became more and more upset and let all of her anger and hurt out. “American enough to have seen my father lose the straightness in his back when he saw our government put his wife and children behind barbed wire.” Tears ran down Sako’s face, but she couldn’t stop, she had to go on, “American enough to have seen jealous white farmers walk away with our land. American enough to have seen strangers come into our home, paw through our personal possessions, and take everything we had worked for.” Sako stopped to breathe and then spat out one final sentence, “Oh, don’t you dare treat me as if I don’t belong here.”
The woman ran home, but Sako stayed in the shade and drank her iced tea as if she’d just made a toast to newlyweds. The rest of the women, especially the German and Italian ones who had war horror stories of their own, were quiet. Sako spoke for all of them and had said what they had been unable to say. She thought she could see a grin peeking around the edge of their lips even though their eyes were tearing up.
“Good for you, Sako. You got her told!” a woman finally said after she caught her breath.
Unlike some of the other Japanese who were interned, Sako was smart enough to grasp the wider picture. She didn’t have to go to college to know the history of fear, jealousy, and hate. From her network of fellow former internees scattered around the country, she had learned all she needed to know about how Italian fishermen had their boats confiscated in California without any payment or apologies. She’d also read about the Japanese-Peruvian fishermen, who were snatched off the coast of Peru and, after the war, dumped unceremoniously in Japan, a country that hadn’t been theirs for generations.
Fortunately, because she was young and in love, Sako was usually more positive about her circumstances than older past internees. Besides, what was done, was done.
Her problems now were the heat in her quarters, the red dust, the snakes, the scorpions—and that creepy black widow spider that was weaving a web in the corner of her back porch, right above her mop bucket.


March 24, 2007

How much more?

Long Beach, Washington, 2006, JMH


Quote du jour:

"A patriot loves his country all the time, and his government when it deserves it." Mark Twain, courtesy of Keith Olbermann, MSNBC Countdown

March 18, 2007

"Yesterday, you really ticked me off..."

I'm not even going to bother to copyright this--ya'll have at it!

3-18-07-Finally! A new photo. It’s not much, but it’s the only thing blooming in my yard right now. I never got around to pruning my hydrangeas last summer. Maybe I could go out and spray the dry blooms blue.

On my CD player-Tony Bennett’s Duets- I dunno. Lately I’ve had a craving for music with lyrics that I can understand. Movies with plots. Books with characters. They seem to be few and far between.

On my bed table-Nothing! I’ve misplaced my new copy of Voncille Shipley’s Left For Dead. I had set aside today to read it as a reward for editing Custer all week. I have gone nuts trying to look under the bed, bed table, couch, coffee table, etc. and it isn’t easy from a wheelchair. I really hate it when I drop things! Whatever it is always rolls out of reach. Ha!

Quote du jour:
“I love you more today than yesterday…yesterday you really ticked me off…” catalog humor (unknown)


March 12, 2007

"I don't want to be dead..."

Cover photo for
As Brown As I Want
The Indianhead Diaries
Come see me!
April 26 (Thursday), 2007, 6:30-8:30 PM Chloe Park Elementary School
1700 Palisade Blvd., Dupont, WA
3-12-07-I’ve had questions about the cover photo on my book As Brown As I Want, The Indianhead Diaries. The photo really is of me and my cousin. The book was mislabeled from the get-go because I didn’t fully understand the genres when I published. It is not fiction, but more correctly, fictional autobiography. As is A Three-Turtle Summer. I guess the publisher assumed it was fiction because it’s a humorous book about my father trying to murder me for the insurance money. I was just ahead of the trend—there’s a lot of that going around lately. Not all of us live our childhoods like The Beaver.
So, why, you may ask, is the book funny? I don’t know…except that maybe it’s because he’s gone and I’m still here! Brown as a finalist in the 2004 Oklahoma Book Awards).
My next book- Custer and His Naked Ladies, is all fiction, except for the endearing personalities of my mother and aunts. This is because after I grew up, my real life became very dull (even though wonderful!). I didn’t think the reader could bear the boring truth. So, for the last book in the Turtle Trilogy, I gave Glory a hunky Indian, a fabulous night on a buffalo rug, and surprises that I don’t want to give away. Don’t miss it! It’s a hoot!
Spring-With the first day of spring coming up next week, it seemed appropriate to make sure I was ready for warmer weather. In other words, did my swimsuit still fit? The question used to be a lot more complex.
In my teens, the question was: can I get out of the store with it after Mom sees it?
In college, it was: do I really need a forty dollar swimsuit to go rafting down the Wenatchee River with an ice chest full of beer tied to a rubber raft?
As a young Army wife, it was: can I wear this suit in a pool full of young recruits without a tee shirt over it?
Ah, those were the days. Yes. The swimsuit still fits. That part was simple. But where the heck is my snorkel?
Reality-Today, I feel guilty about writing about something as frivolous as a swimsuit. I keep having a vision of our forefathers daring to rebel against England. What did they have that we don’t have? Why aren’t we marching on Washington? When did we become so law-abiding (read: afraid)? And, if we are going to tolerate this president who makes the Wizard of Oz look like a genius, what’s to become of us? How much more trouble can this guy get us into in the months he has left? One shudders to consider the possibilities!
On my bed table-a stack of unopened boxes (I've been out of town), including Voncille Shipley’s first mystery, Left For Dead. Can’t wait to open it!
On my TV- Pullllleeese! If it weren’t for the cable history and science shows, I’d only be watching Keith Olbermann. ABC, CBS, and NBC seem to be in a race to see how low they can go…and I predict a tie.
On my DVD machine-Crossroads, Images of the Colville Valley, 1800-1850. It features journals, artwork, and music from the period of contact in the Inland Northwest. Get your copy at MAC (the Museum of Art and Culture) in Spokane.
quote du jour:
"I don't want to be dead, but what can I do? If Dad wants to kill me, he'll kill me. After all, I'm just a kid."--Glory, in As Brown As I Want, The Indianhead Diaries

March 01, 2007

God doesn't put labels on heads

all rights reserved, JMH
3-01-07-The photo is old. I just saw the film of the tornado at Enterprise, Alabama on the news, so I won’t whine about not being able to get out to take new photos because of our cold weather.

Britney Spears-I guess Britney Spears has started a new, bald trend among some of her admirers. I won’t be one of them. It takes a lot of confidence to shave a head that hasn’t been seen since birth and believe you’ll feel good about what you see when the hair hits the floor. I’m old enough to know better. God only made a few perfect heads and he didn’t label them. With my luck, my head looks like a cauliflower underneath all my blond (with lots of help) hair. I wonder if Britney has noticed that she doesn’t look so good either? I can just hear her little wheels turn: “I know! I’ll get a big tattoo and cover it up…” Can’t someone help that poor girl before we lose her like we did Anna Nicole Smith? She’s just a kid…

Quote du jour:
Harry Zimm: “I once asked this literary agent what writing paid the best, and he said, ‘Ransom notes.’”
Get Shorty

February 28, 2007

Talking to the local chickens...

JMH, all rights reserved

2-28-07-Judges in this country are approaching the IQ needed to run for president. For heaven's sake, bury that poor girl. Even her silicone is beginning to sag*.


On my bed table-The Great Hobokan Chicken Emergency by D. Manus Pinkwater-I found this book in my daughter’s room. I’ve always meant to read it and today was the day. Cute book. I’m sure it’ll come up in any conversations I have with the local chickens. In my business, I call this research. Tee-hee.


On my TV-The Turner Movie Channel. I've discovered they run real movies--with a plot, characters, and everything! Who knew? I'd almost forgotten what watching a real movie was like. The junk they call movies on the regular channels makes me yearn for hockey (and I hate hockey).


*For those of you lucky enough to be living someplace else: Anna Nicole Smith


Quote du jour:
“Only nut cases want to be president.” A Man Without a Country, Kurt Vonnegut




February 26, 2007

Save the giant squid!


copyright 2000, Janelle Meraz Hooper

02-26-07-The photo is the cover for a collection of short stories. Love the title (it's a secret) and cover--someday, I should write the stories to go with it...
New Zealand fishermen-I think I know why everything except, possibly, common household flies, is ending up on endangered lists: whenever we discover a new, rare creature, we kill it and send it to a laboratory somewhere. We know we have giant squid, why do we kill every one we catch? Didn’t science get the memo: Take nothing but pictures, leave nothing but footprints?!

Quote du jour:

"The bottom line is in heaven." Edwin Herbert Land

February 23, 2007

Blood On the Wheel!

It's so dreary out that the weeds I have indoors are looking good to me!
copyright, 2007 JMH

02-23-07-It’s tax time in my area. Between the county, state, and federal tax reporting, the season runs longer than Christmas. It’s not that I mind writing the checks, it’s that the check I write is so small. I'm thinking of writing a new book in the horror/suspense,romance/disabled genre--something for everybody! I'll name it something classy like: Blood On the Wheel or Lipstick On the Gun.

The judge-I’m trying to pretend that whole hearing about where Anna Nicole Smith will be buried didn’t happen this week. What a nightmare!

Custer and His Naked Ladies-Permissions are in, and now I’ll tweak until I decide what to do with it. Any Hispanic agents out there?

Save the AFLAC Duck!- He and the Geico Cavemen are the only bright spots on my TV.

Google’s Font Fairy-I’m still struggling with the font sizes in Google’s new format. One is too big, the other, too small. Or maybe it’s just my laptop. Or my eyes. Can ya’ll read it?

Having failed to get an attractive space between margins on the left and margins for the quote that are centered, I give up. Just pretend the quote is centered nicely on the page, okay?


Quote du jour:
“It is justice, not charity, that is wanting in the world.” Mary Wollstonecraft

February 20, 2007

Save the duck!

JMH, all rights reserved



02-20-07-The photo is from my collection of doors. The sign said: Don't even think of parking here!

AFLAC Duck-No more AFLAC duck?! Say it isn’t so! I’ll never forget my grandson’s comment—he was about 5—when he ran over to me and said, “Gramma, I know how they do that. They teach that duck to say that!”

Words-The rescue of the climbers on Mt. Hood yesterday brought into focus the definitions of two words that we all know: rescue and recovery. How different they are! By the time the day was over, I was even glad to see that skinny black dog! We’ve had far too many recoveries lately—and way too few rescues. Good job, guys!

On my TV- Cabin in the Sky, with an all black cast that I could watch over and over (and will). Ethel Waters, Lena Horne, and all the other greats are tightly packed into a movie that is a treat for the ears, a feast for the eyes, and a gift to the mind. Don’t miss it! Thank you, Comcast On Demand!


Baseball-The players reported to spring training this week. Ask me later on if that’s a good thing. I’m having trouble being enthusiastic about players who make millions being unable to catch a ball—even when it hits them in the hands. Even so, it is baseball—and this is America…play ball!


Quote du jour:
“Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball, the rules and realities of the game—and do it by watching first some high school or small-town teams.” Jacques Barzun

February 15, 2007

Still looking for the Font Fairy...

Quanah Parker's House, copyright JMH

2-15-07-This is my new plan: if I don't have anything to say, I'll just throw up an interesting picture. This is the house that used to belong to Quanah Parker, a Comanche chief.
What I'm really doing- is looking for an acceptable size font for this blog. They say this is large.
Quote du jour:
"Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry." Gloria Steinem

D. C. is full of monkeys!

copyright JMH
2-15-07-The photo is from a trip to St. Thomas years ago. It reminds me of that saying about when God closes a door he opens a window. Here, windows abound--pick one!

Font Fairy-My Font Fairy deserted me yesterday. After I'd signed off, I realized that Google's new format shrinks fonts smaller than usual size. This font is labeled huge--I'll be the judge of that!

Custer and His Naked Ladies-The book is still waiting for permissions. Meanwhile, I've started the first novel with a Northwest setting. It has no title yet, but I'm calling it Ralph, for reasons I can't explain. It's going to be difficult for me to change settings, but I imagine my relatives are breathing heavy sighs of relief that I've finally stopped writing about them!

Quote du jour:

An example from the monkey: "The higher it climbs, the more you see of its behind." Saint Bonaventure

February 14, 2007

Listen to your Font Fairy!

copyright, JMH


2-14-07-The photo above was taken from my files. I used to be an organic gardener. The berries were in my back pasture.
Kids- What's wrong with our kids? So far, this month, we've had Gonzaga University basketball players--on a full ride scholarship--caught with drugs! Now that's got to warm the cockles of their parents' hearts. Then, there were the students from the Air Firce Academy who cheated during a test using the text messaging feature on their phones. Somebody needs to be slapped--on their way out the door. McDonald's is thataway, podner...although, I don't even think McDonald's would want these guys.
Font Fairy-Some of you are still not reading your messages from the Font Fairy. This is cyberspace, folks! You can use a font bigger than a size two!
More later--I'm out of time! I spent all morning converting to the new Google format. Oy! I swear, the Internet Gods are playing with me...

February 05, 2007

Ya can't make a baker from hash browns...

Missin' Oklahoma, JMH, all rights reserved
02-05-07-
Spinach-
So now the produce industry wants us to set up federal oversight to assure buyers that fresh produce is safe. How pesky of consumers to be unwilling to forget that spinach contaminated with E. coli bacteria killed three people and sickened nearly 200 last year!
Why don’t they just do their job? Grow healthy food. Why does our government have to bail out every sloppy businessman who screws up?
If this goes through, I want a government overseer in my office the next morning, to make sure that I am conducting my business with integrity.
C’mon! Those people knew they had a serious problem and they tried to cover it up…at the expense of innocent people. Now, it’s hurting them in their pocketbook, so they’re taking notice. I’d rather eat cake.

Presidential hopefuls-I’ve lost track of the Hopeless Hopefuls. Except for Biden. I remember him from last time. He’s definitely not an Idaho baker! He is small potatoes all the way. Heck. He’s beyond that—he’s hash browns.

Custer and His Naked Ladies-It’s finished and is in the permission stage at the moment. Ya’ll don’t miss it! It’s a winner!



Quote du Jour:
“I’ll never be strong like Popeye…my mom refuses to buy the spinach that comes in the can.” My organic gardener friend’s son at six.

January 23, 2007

Calling all Idaho Bakers!

Bear's Fish Camp, Alaska
© Janelle Meraz Hooper

01-23-07-Presidential hopefuls - Good grief! Where did all of you guys get your egos? Most of you have already risen higher in government than even God could have predicted. Go home! Shut up!

This guy, Brownback from Kansas, is the worst so far. He announced a few days ago that he and his family were going to “Follow the Yellow Brick Road to the White House.” And then, do what? Look for a brain?

These are serious times. We’ll be lucky if we make it through the next long, long months with Bush. We cannot afford to waste our time on a man who is Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

Brownback is not alone in his uselessness. Edwards, Kerry, Giuliani, Hunter, and Mc Cain (especially MC Cain)—go home! None of you will ever pass muster. You are small potatoes during a time when we need Idaho bakers.


Quote du jour:
"Do not ask the Lord to guide your footsteps if you're not willing to move your feet ." Unknown