He didn't say which week!

© Janelle Meraz Hooper

3-24-06- Okay, we're moving into greener photo subjects. At last. I'm sick of photos of mud! Notice that I didn't show you tulips--I didn't want your eyes to go into shock!

News-If a cigarette smoker really did start that cruise ship fire, I hope they drag his/her sorry ass off that ship and beat the you-know-what out of him/her. Whoever it was put a lot of people at risk. Isn't amazing that more weren't killed?

The quote today is from a Blackhawk song. I've always loved song lyrics. Remember that TV show titled: Name That Song? I used to love that. My family could never figure out how I could know all the lyrics to the songs in Fred Astaire movies, and yet not be able to remember simple math equations. I had an uncle who felt my mother's pain. Once, he promised that he could make a math genius out of me in a week. He didn't say which week (it hasn't happened yet--still waiting!).

Duh! There’s a study out now that says kids are better off when their depressed mothers get medical help. Oh, wow. How many thousands of dollars did they get for that research?! When my daughter was a toddler, some researchers got a huge grant to study why children fell off tricycles. Good grief! Oh! And in the middle of the Adelle Davis craze, there was that doctor who announced to the press that candy was good for childrens' brains---but it turned out he worked for a chocolate factory. No lie.

On my bed table- I'm still reading Leap of Faith, Memoirs of an Unexpected Life by Queen Noor of Jordan.

On my DVD-I’ve been watching Our Puyallup, a DVD produced by my home town. It’s full of wonderful old photos and set to the tunes of the time. It’s a joy just to listen to the music!

On my TV-Keith Olbermann on MSNBC (Countdown). Like the rest of it, he’s lost patience with the Bush regime, and is hitting them pretty hard.

He’s not heavy- Are you a gardener? Are you thinking about planting an extra row for the food bank? We’re on it here, although the plan is a little late. When our neighborhood kids were small, they would have gladly given away their share of the garden's vegetables. Even strawberries lost their allure in mid-season. I used to have to run after I put a big bowl of strawberries on our neighbor's porches. Those were the days. I used to grow enough food to have four more kids. Towards the end of my gardening days, I wised up and began growing fruits and vegetables that the slugs couldn't get to, like cherries, pears, apples, berries, and tomatoes. Although we have had reports in Puyallup of slugs who climbed tomato plants, completely oblivious to the hairy stalks.

Custer Report-Spanish translations are back from my daughter. It sure is great having in-house help!

Quote du jour:
“Your blue might be gray, your less might be more, your window to the world might be your own front door...”- Blackhawk at 1996 Puyallup Fair

Horny toads and wild desert elephants...

© Janelle Meraz Hooper

3-21-06-The photo is just for fun. I think I'm becoming senile. I used to just inject one little piece of fantasy or humor in our home. Lately, pieces of humor are in every room and they're getting larger (like Bud). Speaking of Bud, I've misplaced the cables for my digital camera. He's been sitting in the same pose for weeks. Poor guy. He's a victim of poor organization and unfullfilled promises. Just like the American people (ouch, did I say that?!).

Yesterday- was the first day of spring, and what? The beginning of the third year of our war in Iraq? I’ve lost count. We’re a good people. We’re kind, giving, and compassionate. So why is it we keep electing greedy, war-mongering leaders? I just don’t get it…

Birds-Did you ever think we’d look at a sweet little bird and cringe? Bird flu is moving closer and closer, and I’m beginning to wonder if I should stop refilling my bird feeder. Children play in my yard. My husband mows that yard (for myself, I rarely get off the deck with my wheelchair).

Rant-Well, actually an anti-rant. There’s a movement asking gardeners to plant an extra row of vegetables and give the produce to the food banks. How great is that?! And so doable. Actually, I think in the case of some vegetables, like zucchini, just planting one extra plant would be plenty.

Custer- Custer and His Naked Ladies is still coming along. Years ago I asked a newspaper editor how long he wanted my assignment to be. His answer was, “When it’s done, it’s done.”

On my bed table-I’m still reading A Leap of Faith by Queen Noor. If you like autobiographies, and are interested in the Middle East, I highly recommend it.

On my DVD-A baseball movie: Angels in the Outfield. Danny Glover, Christopher Lloyd, and Tony Danza. Also, Ernest Goes to Camp with Jim Varney--I've had young company. They're both pleasers.

On my TV-Channel 68, HGTV is my new addiction. I especially love the House Hunters International show. Last night, they had a couple looking for a home in Prague, Czechoslovakia. How interesting to see how other people live. Wouldn’t it be fun to be able to sit down and talk to someone continents away? I wish they'd email me. Other locations I’ve seen: Florence, Italy; Barcelona, Spain; Paris; and London. This show is beyond cool!

Whatcha readin’?- Let me know! I’ve misplaced my emails about your books—I’ve been switching my equipment around. While I was at it, I rearranged my office, and am lucky if I can find my keyboard. Research for future books has overflowed my expansive book shelves and files. I’ve shoveled pages and pages of loose notes out of here in the last few days. Stubbornly, I’ve held onto my favorite National Geographic books and tapes. Who knows? I may write a book about baby horny toads and wild desert elephants someday. Ya never know.

Quote du jour:

"Education is the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty." -- Mark Twain, courtesy of Ginger Foglesong Guy, author

Nigerian spam from Canada?

Yellow cherries, © 2005 Dick Hooper

3-09-06-Dick took this photo of yellow cherries in Portland--eventually, they were to become marichino cherries. Wouldn't this photo be great in a kitchen?

Gone-I’ve been gone for awhile. I was working on a project for charity that didn’t pan out. I’ll think of another one…I did, however, get a kick out of discovering that, for once, it wasn't my brain that was holding up the parade, but my computer equipment.

On the web- An ad suggesting that if I add $50 more (?) I could get free next business day delivery (office depot)...

ReNew Orleans-Have you ordered your ReNew Orleans tee-shirt yet? Come on, never too many tee-shirts!

Whatcha’ Readin’?-The Da Vinci Code-I was so proud last weekend. The Sunday paper reported that, on the Pacific Northwest Best-Seller list, The Da Vinci Code was way down to #5! My little heart could hardly stop thumping…on the New York Times Best-Seller list, it’s #3. I’m beginning to wonder if it’s the only book they have in New York City…

Rant-Summer styles- In the Sunday paper, I found another photo of tacky clothing that could destroy a girl’s esteem: a tee-shirt on a boy proclaiming: Sister missing her brain—No reward! She’s beyond help! Ha-ha. Thank you. JC Penney, for that insensitive message.

Nigerian Spam- I don’t get much of it anymore, most of it is automatically filtered out now. I miss it. Before they stopped, they began to get comical. I received Nigerian spam letters from Spain, England, and France. The last one, from Canada, was hysterical. Do they think we’re too dumb to check out the address? Anyway, I kept imagining this roly-poly Nigerian woman with a multi-colored turban, big earrings, and a gaily-printed dress sitting on a big pile of snow in the Yukon…her laptop propped up on a pair of moose antlers…with the moose still wearing them.

Dana Reeve-We lost Dana Reeve this week. We all know that life isn’t fair, but Dana didn’t have a chance. She deserved better. Oh, could that girl sing!

Quote du jour:
“It’s not the doing of things, but the being that counts.” Christopher Reeve

After finding a whippet...

© Janelle Meraz Hooper

3-03-06-Just a quick note. I've been asked about some of the photos and watercolors that head up the posts on my site. I've decided to run an experiment: any watercolor or photo on my site can be purchased for a $5.00 donation. I'll donate all funds to a local charity--most likely our local food bank. Photos will be emailed--you can use them for any non-commercial project. Please mail checks to: Janelle Meraz Hooper, 6902-96th St. East, Puyallup, WA 98371

Questions? phone: 253-845-5793

I'm working on a way to showcase all the photos on a site of their own...it'll take awhile!

Thanks, Janelle

1-25-06-The above is a small section of a watercolor that I did during my mother’s visit some years ago. The whole picture is hanging above my bed table.

Vivi-The last I heard, Vivi is still missing and they’ve called in psychics. Don’t laugh! There’s a lot we don’t know about the universe. If they succeed in finding the lost whippet, let’s see if they can find bin Laden. After finding a whippet, finding a rat should be easy…

bin Laden- Seriously, Ole bin has done so much damage to East-West relations. So many people I know were beginning to reach out to Muslims, willing to give them a chance. Years and years of brainwashing by our governments were beginning to fail. All that is gone now. We’re back where we started. How sad.

Muslims- Speaking of Muslims, why is it that none of us knew that it was forbidden to draw pictures of Muhammad? Why didn’t someone tell us? Of course, I’d be more sympathetic if they didn’t hang our leaders in effigy every weekend, and burn our flag whenever they wanted to get on TV, but still, it would have been nice to know. I can remember my teachers teaching us about other cultures, but nothing about Muslims. Did they think we'd never meet one?

One more question- So why are Muslims condemning the US for the cartoons when we had nothing to do with it?! Their capacity for hatred is obviously greater than their capacity for spiritual peace.

On my bed table- Leap of Faith, by Queen Noor.

Whatcha Readin’? CF in Oklahoma City is reading Dorothy Garlock’s A Place Called Rainwater. The setting is in an Oklahoma oil town close to Tulsa.

Are the rest of you still reading The De Vinci Code? You're killin' me! The movie comes out next week, you know.

Sick leave- I’ve been sick. I’ll try to do better this week. (;

Quote du jour:
"Drinking makes some husbands see double and feel single." unknown

God must have been very amused...

Snoozin’ cat, © Janelle Meraz Hooper

2-17-06- The snoozin’ cat is one of my watercolors that isn’t impressive. Maybe it would be more so if the viewer knew it was painted while I was ill and flat on my back. To paraphrase Patti LaBelle, “I have arthritis, arthritis doesn’t have me!”

High winds today- Okay, listen up: we had winds so high that, at a nearby home, they uprooted a basketball pole and backboard, and threw the whole fixture into a fence. The fence lost. It wasn’t Katrina, but it’ll do.

LOL- A bad match: Most of you know that I’m in a wheelchair (thus the blog name: The Squeaky Wheels). Two nights ago, there was an urgent knocking at my front door. I went to the upstairs window and called down, “Who’s there?” No answer. More knocking, louder this time. Again I called, “Who’s there?” As I’m a very patient person, this went on much longer than it should have. Finally, the person at the door looked up to see me in the window and signaled that he was deaf. He signaled for me to come to the front door. I pointed to my wheelchair and shook my head. He insisted that I come down. I held up seven fingers and pointed towards my stairs. He held up a little card the size of a playing card—of course, I couldn’t read it. Finally, he became annoyed and gave me a hand signal that said, “I give up,” and moved on. No one saw this little scene except God, who must have been very amused. I still don't know what he was selling. I can imagine the man going home and telling his wife that he met a stupid woman at work who could only count to seven.

Dick Cheney-Our vice-president got lucky. The guy didn't die (thank God!). Do ya think that he'll ever go hunting with Dick again? Psst: Whoever convinced big men with heavy firearms that killing a defenseless, dumb quail was manly?

Writing tip- Good marketing is as important as good writing nowadays. The last writers event I went to, I wore black. Oh, it was a beautiful outfit, but I blended right into the shadows. Next time, I’ll wear orange—or at least red. You want to be seen from across the room at a book-signing.

Quote du Jour:

“The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.” unknown

The State Rock of Oklahoma

Whatcha Readin’?

2-15-06-It’s a great day to buy a book!

Dick Cheney- Let’s not go there and pretend we did. What a loser!

Custer and His Naked Ladies- I’ve been working on the last turtle in my turtle trilogy. I really get bogged down in the research, most of which I’ll never use in the book. It’s sort of like my cutting a piece watermelon—the piece is never big enough. That’s okay when you’re eating watermelon, but in novel-writing, you have to make choices. For instance, in my case, no one will care about the barite roses and how they were formed when the shallow seas drained through the red sandstone rocks millions of years ago. I know I’ll end up cutting it…but they are The State Rock of Oklahoma, you know…

Writers tip-In the movie Wonder Boys, in which Michael Douglas plays an English professor, there’s a wonderful line by one of his students when she reads his latest manuscript. She says he didn’t make choices. And it’s so true. It takes discipline to make the right choices for a book, you shouldn’t put in every idea you have. Make choices. If it doesn’t move the plot along, cut it! In my case, I asked myself, “Are you writing a novel or a science report?”

The OWFI (Oklahoma Writers Federation, Inc.)- There's an excitement in the air that can't be blamed on spring. It's the yearly OWFI's annual book contest. My writer friends are holding their breath and the email chatter between us rivals a nest of baby birds waiting for breakfast. What did you enter? Who do you think will win? What will you enter next year? Are you going to the conference? Who cares if it's sunny outside?!

Books at the top of the page-
A Three-Turtle Summer, the first book in the turtle trilogy
As Brown As I Want, The Indianhead Diaries, the second book in the turtle trilogy
Free Pecan Pie and Other Chick Stories- (short stories)
Custer and His Naked Ladies-The third book in the turtle trilogy, in progress

Quote du jour:
"My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint." -Erma Bombeck-

Surely, American business isn't this stupid!

Janelle and Tim Tingle, © Dick Hooper, 2004

2-09-06-Here's a photo from the 2004 Oklahoma Book Awards. Tim Tingle was there with his short story book, Walking the Choctaw Road. It's a wonderful book, buy it! I was there with my As Brown As I Want, the Indianhead Diaries novel. Next year, I'll probably enter my new novel (still in progress), Custer and His Naked Ladies. It could be my ticket to a great party! This year, I entered my Free Pecan Pie and Other Chick Stories book in the Oklahoma Writers Federation book contest. They have a party too!

Sun!- We have sun! Even the birds are wearing bikinis…

Pepsi-I got an email this morning claiming that Pepsi has new patriotic cans. From what I’m reading, they have printed the Pledge of Allegiance, but have purposely left out “one nation, under God.” Let’s forget for a moment the ruckus this will cause among the Christian Right Pepsi Swigglers. Let’s look at this from a business angle:
What were they thinking? I can’t believe a big corporation would shoot themselves in the foot this way! If this is true, they are all beyond idiocy! Have they not been watching the bleeding Muslims on TV upset over a cartoon? Have they not monitored the Christian Right’s push to have prayer reinstated in schools? Faced with a design dilemma on whether to include God or not, it is said they didn’t want to offend anyone—so they left God off the can. What I am understanding is that they really didn’t want to offend Muslims. What’s happening here? If we are afraid to offend a Muslim with a can of Pepsi, what next?! But I digress (as I often do). If the guys on Madison Avenue discussed the choices—God or no God—why didn’t they realize that this new can design was going to cost them money? Why didn’t they ditch the whole idea and put the words to America the Beautiful on the can? Still too offensive? What about Take Me Out to the Ballgame? Or, roses are red, violets are blue? Or Mary Had a Little Lamb? ANYTHING! I’ll be so relieved if I find out this new can design is a farce—surely American Business isn’t this stupid!

Quote du jour:
"I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house.."-Zsa Zsa Gabor-

note: Younger readers won't remember Zsa Zsa, but she was a treat! Always beautiful, always rich, always funny!

Ya know what's missing here?

Montana fence, © Janelle Meraz Hooper

2-08-06-
Publishers-What’s this? It seems James Frey is not alone in his deceit. Now, it’s being murmured that the “JT LeRoy” books on the life of a purported 25 year-old male prostitute were really written by Laura Albert, who is neither male or a prostitute. Add to the list the supposed great Navajo writer Nasdijj who, it turns out, is said to be a white Timothy Patrick Barrus.
Ya know what’s missing here? An apology from the arrogant and greedy publishers who packaged the lies and sold them as the truth. Realistically, it could be that waiting for such an apology would be about as useful as waiting for Barbara Bush to apologize for her comments about the Katrina victims. So I think I’ll sit this one out. Besides, I should stay off my feet--wearing a smirk this big could throw my balance off.

Opening lines-
“Are you still there?” Aggie asked as she picked up her slipper and beat the metal bed frame underneath the mattress. “Well, you’d better get out from under there and go home—wherever that is—I’ve got company coming and she’s going to need the bed.” Aggie leaned way over the edge of her mattress to peer at the woman who was stretched out underneath her bed. “And while you’re at it, take off those goofy red socks. It’s the middle of summer, for Christ’s sake!” Aggie and Her Surprise Visitor, a short story in Free Pecan Pie and Other Chick Stories by Janelle Meraz Hooper

Quote du jour:
"What I have written, I have written." Pontius Pilate

Who is designing our children's clothing?

Sleeping raccoon , © Janelle Meraz Hooper

2-07-06-Two raccoons slept all day Sunday in my big cherry tree. The picture above is no thing of beauty, but it does document the event. There’s only one critter in the picture—the photo with both of them was worse than this one.

Seattle lost the Super Bowl on Sunday. I coached them all I could with advice like, “Run faster!” “Get him!” and “Hold onto the ball!” but all of my worthwhile advice went unheeded. Well, at least the hot dogs were hot—we made them in our own kitchen.

Summer styles- Here we go again! The new clothing styles are arriving. Do you ever wonder what depraved minds design children’s and teen’s clothing? One of the ads this week had the word SWEET appliquéd right across the back end of a girl's pajama bottom. What’s that about? I’m starting a file of offensive clothing because I’ve seen lots more, but I’ve forgotten exactly what the messages were, and I don’t want to be unfair.
This is not a new problem. When I was raising a daughter, the swimsuits for teens were so skimpy that none of our young girls would wear them. Sympathetic lifeguards finally broke pool rules and let the girls wear tee-shirts over their swimwear.
Let me explain. I am not some right-wing fanatic who goes around labeling everything from music to television obscene. I guess I got lucky when I purchased my TV because it came with an off button. So did my radio, and I’ve put both buttons to good use.
The clothing issue concerns me because it is redefining and accelerating our children’s attitudes on sex and focusing on our children’s sexuality for profit. Shame!

Writer's tip-Do you have a popcorn file? I do! In it I enter bits and pieces of information that I have no use for now but may use later. Mine is so old it has multiple folders. One is labeled future book titles. I should live long enough to use all the title ideas!

Quote du jour:
“Happiness is a place between too little and too much.” Finnish proverb

Courtesy of Real Simple magazine

Just another rock collection...

Montana pickup, © Janelle Meraz Hooper

2-03-06-I found this old pickup tramping through the woods. Maybe it was stolen years ago and stripped, I don’t know.

Writing-I’ve had a request to say something about writing…
Writer’s tip-Use your camera as a scrapbook. Your family may wonder why you took some of the pictures they see, but you’ll know. In Alaska once, I took a picture of a child’s box of rocks that he was selling. The sign was so cute. The picture is lost, a victim of poor organization, but the memory of it still plays in my mind. Did I buy a rock? Of course I did! I’ve always loved rocks and that box of rocks brought back memories of my childhood. Back then, I used to sell seashells and geodes. Well, I didn’t really sell very many, but I tried! I like to tell my husband that my jewelry is just another rock collection. He would prefer that I rekindle my interest in geodes!

Book excerpt-
“The sky overhead was ultramarine blue and held in place by a sparkling brooch of blazing sun. Below, a canopy of apple leaves was so thick and lush that the apples hanging profusely underneath looked as if only the denseness of the leaves kept them from being able to float up into the hot, dry air.”
A Perfect Slice of Wenatchee, from Free Pecan Pie and Other Chick Stories by Janelle Meraz Hooper

On my bed table-A History of Russia by Nicholas V. Riasanovsky, I’ve always been interested in Russia. At one time, I tried to go on an archaeological dig in Russia. It didn’t work out (I couldn't pass the physical), and I felt very cheated!

Quote du jour:
“It’s easy to know where your heart has been,
but how can you know where it’s going?” –Kate Rockwell,
Mush On And Smile, Val Dumond & Babe Lehrer

Our little canary in D. C.

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Underlying social significance...

Watercolor, pickle lady, © Janelle Meraz Hooper

1-30-06- The weather is still miserable. The watercolor is one I did several years ago. I’m just posting it because it has color! The woman is picking cucumbers on a pickle farm. During a juried art show once, a juror said it had "underlying social significance" and gave it a high score. Underlying social significance? In a pickle?

Rain-Still. I’m taking the day off to write.

Quote du jour:
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." Mark Twain

Deadheading roses...

Sign, Anchorage Alaska, © Janelle Meraz Hooper

1-28-06-I took this photo. It’s for real. I was told that the wildlife department harvests eggs from the salmon for conservation purposes, then give the fish away.

Rain-It’s quiet here on Lake Puyallup this Saturday. They say we have at least two more weeks of rain, so I imagine everyone is in their basements, building an ark.

Custer-The quote today is from my latest novel, Custer and His Naked Ladies. Among the senior women in the book’s setting, one woman's failure to deadhead her roses is a serious offense.

Quote du jour:
“She doesn’t deadhead her roses, you know.” Mickey, Custer and His Naked Ladies (not yet published)

Googling turtles...

Door in downtown McCarthy, © Janelle Meraz Hooper

1-27-06- Here’s another shot in downtown McCarthy, Alaska. The weather has been so wet that I haven’t been able to get out around here to take pictures. Tomorrow, you may see a photo of my TV, because that’s about all I’ve seen this month.

Google- I’m still waiting to see who will win, Bush or Google. Once, I spent all day Googling turtles, so I’m in a sweat, LOL. Even so, I’m hoping Google doesn’t give in.

Custer- Custer and His Naked Ladies is taking up a lot of my time. Every time I think I’m about done, I decide to tweak it a little more. A lot of writers hate to rewrite, but it's my favorite part of writing.

Oprah- Oprah rocks! Her show yesterday where she grilled James Frey on his A Million Little Pieces was cathartic for all independent writers. Earlier this month, there was a New York Times article about publishers and editors in the mainstream end of publishing not being able to recognize a good paragraph when they read one. The truth is, I think they do. It’s just that they’re looking at manuscripts through their wallets. They saw Frey’s book and the sweet smell of money overcame the reek of lies. AND, they were sure they’d get away with it. Guess they didn’t count on Oprah getting ticked! (I did send Oprah an email saying she should have reviewed my book. It’s ALL BS, and she wouldn’t have had any trouble with it!)

Quote du jour:
"My main reason for adopting literature as a profession was that, as the author is never seen by his clients, he need not dress respectably." George Bernard Shaw

(I was delighted to find this quote as another writer and I have a conscience about how we look during the day...so we wear our best jewelry with our sweats.)

The Silencing of America

McCarthy Hotel, © Janelle Meraz Hooper

1-24-06-You may have noticed that I have a lot of Alaskan photos. I was there for too short a period of time before and after the millennium. I expected to see gorgeous scenery, moose, bear, and other creatures. I was totally unprepared for how much of it I'd see. After the first few days, I gave up counting moose, it seemed that they would be in my kitchen if we weren't on the fourth floor. Talk about life on the big screen! Another surprise was the people. I've never seen a brighter, more engaging group of people in all of my travels. When we had to leave, it was like trying to catch a king crab with a bit of bacon on a short string. In an urgent voice, my husband finally explained to me that he'd had a good offer "outside" with more pay. Someday, when we retired, he reasoned, we'd be glad to have the extra money. So, here I am, "outside." It's not as if I'm in hell here in Washington State--it's pretty darn good. But somedays...

The Silencing of America-
As a writer, for the first time in my career, I am afraid. I have a long history of protesting peacefully. During the Vietnam War, Nixon said that “Silent America” agreed with him. I wrote to the White House and told him, "America isn’t silent because we agree with you. We are silent because we are busy praying."

I signed the letter.

I was not afraid.

It was a good instinct. I got back a form letter that didn’t even come close to responding to the contents of my message. Obviously, it was never read.
Things have changed. Now, whenever I protest, I wonder if the government--my government--will say I'm a terrorist. I never dreamed thatwe would someday have a president who makes Nixon look good. What have things come to?

(Please don’t make any copies of this posting—I am afraid.)

Quote du jour:
“It’s all good!” Canadian Olympic Committee (and others)

This is the worst day of the year!

Kennicott Copper Mine, © Janelle Meraz Hooper

1-23-06-I hate football, but I adore magic shows, and yesterday was pure magic. Our Seattle Seahawks are going to the Super Bowl! For years, I’ve maintained that it should be illegal to have that much grass without a home plate. But even I, a diehard baseball fan, loved watching that game! They won over the Panthers 34-14, That’s a good score, isn’t it? I think it is…I’m not a detail person (that’s why I write novels).

Republic of Georgia- Those poor people. Here it is the dead of winter and Russia has blown up its natural gas pipeline, leaving them with no heating oil or gas. We’re short on money right now, but maybe we could send them some of our politicians…

Worst day- A British psychologist has determined that this is the worst day of the year…he has invented a formula that has variables such as weather, debt, salary, time since Christmas, time since failure, and on and on. I’m a writer, and my failures (rejections) are many, so I stopped reading the article when I got to that part of the equation. I’ll just take his word for it.

Bedbugs- They’re back, they say. This would be a good one to blame on Osama. New York is calling for a bedbug task force. Now there’s a political committee people will be fighting—to stay off!

Mad cow- I see Canada has another mad cow. We'll blame this one on Osama too. Since we can't catch him , we might as well get some use out of him...

Quote du jour:
“The chairs are not pretty if they’re empty.” New Orleans restaurateur after Katrina.

A free keffiyeh with every book order!

Downtown McCarthy, Alaska, © Janelle Meraz Hooper

1-22-06- The photo is of a business in downtown McCarthy, Alaska that I took several years ago. It's right outside the Kennicott Copper Mine. The ore was sent to the Asarco foundry in Tacoma, Washington. A side-product of the copper ore was gold, but it was kept quiet for years. Maybe, I'll post a picture of the mine tomorrow.

Miss America- All right! Finally, some respect! Congratulations, Jennifer Berry, who was elected Miss Oklahoma 2006 last night in Las Vegas. Woo-hoo!

Leopard geckos-My morning paper had an ad from a local pet store offering leopard geckos on sale. Everything I know about geckos I learned from that insurance ad on TV. I love that little green lizard, but my enthusiasm for the new pet totally evaporated when I scanned down to see that gecko food was also on sale---wait for it---crickets and worms! EEEK! I’m looking for a pet that will grow and be healthy on a diet of unbuttered popcorn…

New York Times Best Sellers- Okay, some of you still haven’t read my books. I know that because The DA Vinci Code by Dan Brown is still near the top of the list. That book has been on the best-seller list for so long that the numbers are higher than our total population. What, are some of you buying and reading it for the 10th time?! Are you using it to steady wobbly tables? Read something else, will you? I promise you, the book ends the same way every time.

Osama’s Book Club- Since my books haven’t been tapped for Oprah’s Book Club, I’m going to see if I can get on Osama’s. I hear he’s giving away a free keffiyeh with every book order (put my name on a red one). William Blum’s book, A Rogue State: A Guide to the World’s Only Superpower is doing very well after Osama picked it.

Custer- Speaking about books, I’d better do some work on mine: Custer and His Naked Ladies.

Quote du jour:
"Garbage in, garbage out." computer saying

Teeny-tiny pucks

Alaskan birch bark, © Janelle Meraz Hooper 2006

1-21-06-
Basketball season-I love soccer and basketball. If you invite me to a hockey game, know that I’m just going for the popcorn and beer, because my eyes can’t focus on that teeny-tiny puck. Why does it have to be so small…and black? Couldn’t it be bigger and bright pink? Huh? What would it hurt? And don’t tell me a pink puck isn’t macho. There’s not a person alive who would dare to question a hockey player’s masculinity. Unless, maybe, he’d already lost his front teeth and wasn’t worried about getting hit in the mouth with a wooden stick.

Quote du jour:
“Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.” Truman Capote

Plantin' peas in the basement...

Rusty nail in Alaskan goldfields © Janelle Meraz Hooper

1-20-06
Rain-I guess Seattle missed breaking its record for rain by one day, but where I am, it’s closer to the mountains, and we had rain yesterday—so I guess it’s 30 and counting where I am.

I kid a lot about it, and so does everyone else. Yesterday, I sent out emails announcing that Noah’s Ark had just floated past my cherry tree. Let’s face it, after Katrina, there’s just no real urge to complain about a little rain in the basement. I do have to admit though, that some people here have lost their homes, or else they have enough mud in their basements to plant peas.

Those of us without view property, miles from the shoreline, are resting easier. It’s kind of like a modern version of The Three Pigs, isn’t it? The first little pig built his home right on the water, and it floated away…the second little pig built his house on the flood plain, and the mud came in and gobbled it up. The third little pig built his house high on a hill, and was warm and dry(—until the earthquake, ha!)

Pakistan- So far today we’ve left them alone. Those poor people. First, the earthquake destroys thousands of homes, then we go in and blow up the few that are left standing. I do have to say though that the “event” reminds me of something Oprah said once, “Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.” STILL, it is WRONG to blow up someone’s country without an invitation. How ruuude!

Quote du jour:
“Never give the devil a ride—he’ll always want to drive.” unknown

Waiting for s'mores...

Camp deer, © Dick Hooper

1-19-06-

Photo-The above photo was taken by my husband when we were camping at Merand State Park on Orcas Island. He observed us from the edge of our camp for most of the evening. I think he was waiting for the s’mores…

Pakistan bombing- What do we think we’re doing?! Bombing other countries without their permission?! On top of that, they didn’t get the guy they were looking for. It seems we’re relying on intelligence for the information, and everyone knows how we stink at that. Whoops!

Someone in the White House said that there are no boundaries in the war on terrorism. I say there are reasons for laws respecting the boundaries of other countries. The phrase, “Turn about is fair play” comes to mind—maybe Pakistan or some other country, without warning, will bomb us next*.

This administration has not made us safer, as promised. What they have done is put us in more jeopardy than before.

*I know we’ve already been bombed several times, but it wasn’t by a country. For all of Bin Laden’s ego, he is not a country. He is just a desert thug wearing a dingy sheet. I’m convinced that the only reason we haven’t caught him is because we don’t want to. If he starting singing, I imagine the White House would start sweating! Remember, he used to be on our side. He knows more secrets than your husband’s ex-wife…

On my DVD player- The War of the Worlds-This script was beneath Steven Spielberg’s talents from the get-go. Having Tom Cruise as the main protagonist didn’t help the project. At any moment, I thought he might jump the couch.

Hollywood- Calling Hollywood! There’s no need to keep rehashing old scripts, I know of some books that would make wonderful movies (just a couple of them are mine). Email me, and we’ll talk!

Quote du jour:
“Corruption of the best is the worst.” The West Wing