August 03, 2009

Irretrievably Broken, Irma Fritz

©2009, Irma Fritz
My guest author this week is Irma Fritz, author of Irretrievably Broken. Irma's characters are a delight. I hope you enjoy this excerpt of her first novel.
Note: Irma and I will both be at Adventures in Literature, August 8th & 9th, in the Auburn Avenue Theater, 10 Auburn Avenue all day (9-5). Come see us! (A part of Auburn Good Ol' Days)
AT THE CUMMER: How Nora Met Max

(On a cross-country road-road trip from Seattle to Washington, D.C., the matriarch of the Adler Family, Ruth; her daughter Nora, her granddaughter Bettina, and Bettina’s godmother Mary stop off at Aunt Ada’s in Jacksonville, FL. This scene takes place while they walk in the Italian Garden at the Cummer Museum.)

Excerpt From Irretrievably Broken, a novel by Irma Fritz
http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B002BMDDZ4

At the museum, Bettina was fidgety and impatient. She didn’t much care for the porcelain or the paintings. Her interest perked up when they looked at Japanese woodprints. She wanted to talk about Lucky, but Ruth made her be quiet, and the girl sulked until they were finally outdoors again.
Walking in the Italian Garden, Bettina said dreamily, “That Lucky is a lucky girl.”
“Who’s lucky?” asked Ada.
“You missed a good one.” Ruth opened the umbrella the driver had given them against the sun, and Ada got under its circle of shade. “Mrs. Nobel’s son met his fiancĂ©e in Japan.”
“I’m so sorry I missed it,” Ada craned her neck at the taller Ruth. “I always like a romantic story, don’t you?”
“You would have loved this one,” Ruth laughed. “The prodigal son meets Jezebel.”
“You hit that nail square on the head,” Mary covered her head with an elegant wide-brimmed hat in the same blue hue as her sundress. “You know he’ll be living off of her soon enough.”
“I wonder what job skills she has?” Nora wondered.
“Girls in Japan can make money selling their thongs,” said Bettina, stopping to tie a shoelace.
Ruth glared at her. “You are not talking about those skimpy underpants?”
“Do they sell them before or after they wear them?” Mary wondered.
“Duh. Men buy them in vending machines.”
“Please? Let’s not make up such awful stories,” Nora admonished.
“Mel told me,” Bettina protested. “Her friend knows. He’s an exchange student from Japan.”
“And to think she came highly recommended by Pastor Lars,” muttered Nora.
“It was wonderful how they met,” Bettina sighed.
“He certainly thought so,” agreed Mary, quick to change the subject to remove the furrow of furor from Nora’s forehead.
“You see,” Ruth explained to Ada, “he was convinced that their meeting was providential.”
“Then it’s not for us to say it wasn’t,” Ada, who looked like a bumblebee in a yellow striped dress, suggested. “I love to hear how couples get together. I wonder how Goldie will do with her new beau?”
“How did you and John meet?” Ruth inquired.
“It was very romantic, I’m sure.” Ada stopped to rest on a bench next to a pond. “Just now I don’t recall exactly how it went.” She fanned her face with the museum program, and then asked Nora, “How did you meet Maximilian?”
“The usual way, I guess.” Nora dipped her fingers in the pond and brought the moisture back to her temples.
“Hardly,” her mother objected.
“I met him at a dance,” protested Nora.
“You make it sound like it was the Seafair Ball.”
Nora shrugged.
“I remember now,” Ada‘s long-term memory kicked in. “He saw you in a dream and . . .”
“. . . when we met he recognized me.”
“I’m intrigued,” Mary joined the conversation. “You better tell all, girl.”
“Yes Tante,” Bettina pleaded, “tell all, girl.”
Nora regarded the expectant faces. “If you really want to know.”
“Well,” gasped Ruth, “this has been a long time coming. I better sit down for this,” and she took out her hankie and dusted off a spot on the bench next to Ada.
From another part of the garden came the clink of laughter like wind chimes, then a girl’s voice, clear as the cloudless day, singing a ballad.
“This is going to be so romantic,” Ada flapped her hands in anticipation of Nora’s romantic account of true love.
“Actually, when I met Max he was drunk.“
“I can believe that,” Ruth retorted, but a weary look from her daughter caused her to smooth her mint-green linen dress under her behind, sit on the bench, and be still.
“When my train reached Lost Mine it was dark,” Nora began. “The stationmaster threw all the luggage on the platform, turned off the lights in the station house, locked the door, jumped in his car, and drove off. There were three surveyors, a Native family of six, and I. A man in a pick-up came to get the surveyors. They loaded their tripods and boxes, hopped on the back of the truck and were gone. The family took their bundles and walked off into the night. There were no houses, no people, just the dark, locked station. This was the end of the line, and the empty train was going nowhere until the day after tomorrow when it would head south again. I stared at the place where the rails ended, and I felt very much alone.”
“Oh Nora,” her mother lamented, “how could you get yourself into such a fix. Whatever did you do?”
“The only thing I could do. I put my pack on my back and walked as fast as I could to catch up with the people in front of me.”
“The Indians?”

“Hello?” Nora shouted into the night, “hello?” When one of the men turned, she called out for him to tell her which way the town was.
He pointed up ahead, the way they were going. There were no lights, no sounds, just the dark road, and Nora followed them doggedly, afraid to lose her way in the night before she reached the town. The gravel road turned and wound its way uphill. Her backpack cut into her shoulders and she put her thumbs under the straps, set her feet firmly so as not to slip and fall. The Natives didn’t turn back, didn’t offer to help. They walked silently, steadily. They crested the hill, then disappeared into whatever lay beyond. She followed, huffing, forcing herself to catch up. When she reached the top of the hill, she saw them below, six comforting, shapeless lumps in the night. She ran, slid, caught herself, closed the distance between them, then lost them again to another turn in the road.
For a while, Nora stumbled on blindly, and then stopped. She’d spent her reserve, knew there was no push left in her. Defeated, she released her pack, set it down to rub her aching shoulders, and massage her neck where the bedroll had chafed her. Now she was truly alone.
From what she could tell in the dark, the road was narrow and had been carved through thick brush and the dense pine forest with trees no taller than she was. Nora listened for the bone-chilling howl of the wolf, for the sound of a bear hefting his bulk through the undergrowth. She opened her pack, groped for the rifle she’d taken apart and hidden in her clothes. Would she be able to assemble it in the dark? Even if she could, Klaus’s .22 caliber was meant for birds and small game. Surely, it would be no defense against a seven-hundred-pound black bear.
Then, suddenly, a light appeared in the night. Nora gazed up at the moonless horizon where a celestial artist painted the sky. Although she’d never seen it before, she knew it was the aurora borealis, and she took it as a personal salutation, her own greeting card written across the heavens. She laughed aloud, clapped her hands, and danced in a circle until she felt dizzy. She had arrived at her destination and her arrival had been noted. No longer afraid, she shouldered her backpack and walked along the road singing.
Quote du jour: “It’s always day 1.” Jeff Bezos 7-22-09
I have a new Amazon Author's Page!

July 14, 2009

July 13, 2009

Is the bottom of your canoe dry?

© 2009, Janelle Meraz Hooper, canoe

If it's the middle of the summer (and it is) and the bottom of your canoe is dry, you're doing something wrong...
What’s up?

What are you reading?
Write and let me know!

Around the house- My husband and other family members are rebuilding our deck. Our grandson says it's so big he wants to paint it green and make a golf course out of it...
Favorite movie lines- “…real peace is not just the absence of conflict, it is the presence of justice…” Harrison Ford as the president in Air Force One.
On my laptop- a new website by children’s writer, Ginger Foglesong Gibson: ReadGinger.com. Ginger writes spectacular bilingual (English-Spanish) books for children. Check it out!
Tech news- The price of Kindle has come down to $299.00 (from $359.00). Woo-hoo! Ya’ll run out and buy two!
In my emails- video from my friends, David and Maddie of a Montana bear pole-dancing. Where was he when I needed him?
On my bed table- Kleenex.
On my Kindle- The Angel’s Game—looking good so far, & Adios Havana, I just got this one, and I’m anxious to read it.
On my Facebook- Two friends who can give me first-hand info on having iguanas for pets. No, I'm not getting one, it's research!
Politics- Is there no end to Cheney’s unlawful mischief? Geez, Louise, he’s like a scientist gone mad.
Bernie- What was for lunch today over in the big house, Bernie? Boston baked beans again? Yum-yum!
Quote du jour- "Whoever said 'nothings impossible' never tried to nail jell-o to a tree" - Lisa Bryant

www.JanelleMerazHooper.com
eBook offer: Recession buster! Read my new humorous romance, Bears in the Hibiscus, for only $3.00! This same book sells for $7.96 on Amazon’s Kindle.

July 07, 2009

If it's summer it's soccer...

© 2009, Janelle Meraz Hooper, our daughter, soccer season

What’s up?

What are you reading? Write and let me know!

Photo- Where have I been? It’s summer, and summer means soccer around here. The photo is of our daughter waiting for a game of a family member to start. We were in a tournament in Yakima, east of the mountains—where they have sun. How clever those Yakimites (?) are. They have soccer tournaments every summer, and everyone from the rainy side of the mountains races over—whether they play or not. Of course, more than a few of us go for the pork chop breakfasts. Not me, of course. I’m as pure as the driven yogurt. NOT!

On my laptop-online Speed Spanish- I’m about to wrap up my online Speed Spanish course. What a bugger it turned out to be for me. I’m about to throw in the toalla. How come it was so easy for my mother? Oh, yeah…she was Hispanic. When I was growing up they didn’t want us to learn Spanish because they feared we wouldn’t do well in school. Translation: they thought we were too dumb to learn two languages, lol!

Around the house- We haven’t used our pasture (originally a raspberry field) for years, but we got good use out of it on the 4th. We drove right out to the middle and watched the neighborhood fireworks, and there were a lot of them. I wanted to watch 1776, the movie musical, a favorite of mine, but the fireworks were so beautiful with the moon in the background that I forgot to go in on time. I’m going to buy that movie. I see it about three times a year and never tire of it.

Green writer- Discovering Kindle—all of my books are now on Kindle, and I’ve become a real Kindle user because of it. I’m reading books I never got around to reading, new books I’d never get to otherwise, and books just for the heck of it. I hear Jeff Bezos is working on a Kindle that I can take in the shower…

On my TV-
Favorite movie lines: “Somebody has to go to prison…” Sadusky (Harvey Keitel) to Ben Franklin Gates (Nicholas Cage) in National Treasure.

In my emails- According to MyLife, a 63-year-old woman in Istanbul looked at my web page. Really?

On my Kindle- I’m a reada, and I’m a reada, but I’m still only halfway through Wuthering Heights. Isn’t this author (Bronte) dead? Can she be adding to the book as I’m reading it?

On my Facebook- Irma Fritz’s announcement that her novel, Irretrievably Broken was #1 in Kindle sales on Sunday. Irma’s characters are so entertaining. What a good read!

Bernie- A 150 years, Bernie? You should only live so long!

Quote du jour- “A liberal is a conservative who has been arrested." Tom Wolfe

Out of time—no time to edit—I’ll do better after the Spanish final!www.JanelleMerazHooper.com

June 20, 2009

What are you reading?

© about 1984, Janelle Meraz Hooper, George "Woogie" Wachetaker

What’s up?

Photo- This photo of Woogie, a friend of my mother's, was misplaced, and just recently found. It was taken at a Comanche powwow in the Wichita Mountains. Woogie was a famous Comanche fancy dancer.

What are you reading?- Write and let me know! JanelleMHooper@comcast.net I'll post replies on this site, but won't use your full name unless you say it's okay.

On my TV- Whale Wars, History Channel. If these guys are the only ones waging a war against illegal whale hunting by the Japanese, the whales are in trouble. I’m not impressed by their lack of common sense that results in risk of human life. It’s kind of like Evel Knievel goes to sea in an ice storm.

On my laptop-the beginnings of a short movie, thanks to an online class I took in video.

In my emails- Someone sent me a video of a small lizard changing colors. The little guy was unbelievably cute to start with, but when he crawled past sunglasses with different color fames and changed to match each frame, I was enchanted. Love that lizard!

On my bed table-This week, I read Plug Your Book! by Steve Weber. It has a lot of insight into how Amazon sells books. If you have a book on Amazon, you should read it.

Green writer- I like to save paper, but one thing I don’t do is use scraps of paper to jot down notes. Bits and pieces are just too easily lost. I use a notebook to jot down notes, and never tear the pages out. When the book is full, I start a new one. I can go back years and find a name or title if I need to.

On my Kindle- Custer and His Naked Ladies, newly formatted and looking beautiful.

Favorite movie quotes- “I’ll have what she’s having.” Customer to waitress after Sally fakes an orgasm in a restaurant. When Harry Met Sally.

Techie news- Dear Amazon.com Customer,
Our customers have told us that they love being able to add highlights and notes to their Kindle books. We want to make it possible for you to access your highlights and notes directly from a Web browser too. So we've released http://kindle.amazon.com, an online tool that enables you to do just that.
To try it out, go to
http://kindle.amazon.com, sign in with your Amazon account, and simply select one of your books where you have added highlights or notes.
We hope you enjoy this new feature. If you have feedback please send it to us at
amazonkindle-feedback@amazon.com. How cool is this? And it works!

On my Facebook- Susan G. Komen for the Cure SOMETHING DIFFERENT: Did you know that you can “donate” your birthday to Susan G. Komen for the Cure® right here on Facebook? You can make a Birthday Wish and ask friends to donate money to help end breast cancer forever. To learn more, just follow the instructions on the link below...
www.causes.com
Source: www.

Politics- President Obama’s plan might not be perfect in every area, but it’s a start. We’ve messed around for years looking for the perfect plan. Time’s awaistin’. Let’s get on it!

Bernie- What’s for lunch today over in the big house, Bernie?

Quote du jour-
"When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her." - Sacha Guitry.

Read my new eBook- Bears in the Hibiscus, for $3.00! Sent by email. Pay by PayPal. Info on my homepage:
www.JanelleMerazHooper.com (book also available on Kindle for regular price)

June 15, 2009

What's an eBook?

© 2009 New, revised cover of As Brown As I Want: The Indianhead Diaries
(Kindle version)

What’s up?
Photo- My new Kindle cover! The book has been reformatted for easier reading.

Around the house- I dropped my digital camera last week. As I saw it tumble from it’s resting spot about 3 feet from the floor; I didn’t even try to catch it (not that I could have!). I knew it would land on my Asian rug, that is at least an inch thick with its pad. I was sure it would be okay. I was not prepared for it to bounce off the rug and bounce onto the hardwood floor. It’s a Pentax and they're great, so it still works, but I have to hold it together with rubber bands. How tacky is that? I’d better go shopping!

On my radio- Country music: I won’t quote the lyrics because of NASCAP*, but what outrageous lyrics! They make me laugh! *It’s really too bad they’re so snarky—I could give the song a free plug.

On my TV- Animal Planet. Their underwater film of the ocean has me talking to God: “Hey, God! Have you seen what you’ve made? You better get down there and take a look! It’s incredible!” I talk to him all the time like that after my prayers. I think he’s about had it with me. The other night, I’m pretty sure I heard him answer, “Duh!”

On my Warrior (laptop)- Still my Speed Spanish class. I was born without the language gene. I have enough time in this 12-week course to have written half of my next novel. I’ve decided I can be a writer, or I can speak Spanish. I don’t have enough time left in my life to do both. It’s a shame. It’s a dynamite course, and I highly recommend it to the rest of you. It’s just me. I stink at languages.

In my emails- I had two emails asking, “What’s an eBook?” when I posted my eBook sale ad for Bears in the Hibiscus. An eBook is a book that is read on a computer (or laptop) screen like a Word document. It can be printed out. New technologies by Adobe have added features, like a list of chapters on the left and a voice option. The voice itself is a hoot and is worth the $3.00 alone. It’s the Microsoft voice, and it sounds like a man whose mouth is full of dog biscuits. What a hoot!

On my bed table- Still Wuthering Heights and The Seven Pillars of Wisdom.

On my Facebook- More good advice from Walt Shiel, Five Rainbows Services.

Bernie- What’s for lunch today over in the big house, Bernie?

On my Kindle- My new, reformatted version of As Brown As I Want: The Indianhead Diaries. Brown is a black comedy about my father trying to kill me for the insurance money when I was eight. It's a good read, and was a finalist in the 2004 Oklahoma book Awards. It's a fictional autobiography.

Quote du jour-
"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher." - Socrates.

www.JanelleMerazHooper.com
Recession buster:
$3.00, eBook
Bears in the Hibiscus, my latest humorous romance
Kindle version available at regular price

No time to edit! Send your complaints to my email address!


June 11, 2009

Chinese Muslims being sent to Bermuda?

© 2009 Janelle Meraz Hooper, comfrey

What's up?

In my yard- comfrey. I actually saw this stuff for sale in a nursery last weekend. If you see it in your yard, call 911. The stuff spreads like crazy, is impossible to get rid of, and even earned me a visit from the drug police who flew over it in their helicopter when it took over my pasture--they gave it a good look until they determined it wasn't marijuana or anything in that category. That kind of excitement doesn't thrill me. It chills me! Yikes! drug enforcement, in my pasture! Gramma would frown.

On my bed table- Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T. E. Lawrence (Lawrence of Arabia), oh, my! I wish this man were still alive. I have so many questions!

Gregory Orr- The Book That Is the Body of the Beloved, I have treated myself to this poetry book from Copper Canyon Press because one of the lines, … "If we’re not supposed to dance, why all this music?” has been a favorite quote for years. It'll be here soon.

In my emails- Email pirates! They are driving me crazy. I had two this week that were blocked by my Comcast and MSN. Good work, guys!

Politics- what’s this? Chinese Muslims are being sent to live in Bermuda? Where do we Catholics get to go? Probably Newark…

Bernie- What’s for lunch today over in the big house?

Quote du jour: "The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you."

http://www.janellemerazhooper.com/

Get the eBook version of my latest novel, Bears in the Hibiscus for $3.00 on my www website...Kindle version at regular price.


June 05, 2009

Legs Lyon and Potato Peel Pie

© 2009 Janelle Meraz Hooper

Photo-The old cherry tree in our backyard. It must be over 50 feet--was I supposed to prune it?

What’s up?
On my bed table-
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society, by Mary Ann Schaffer and Annie Barrows. You must read this one, it’s a novel about the Nazi occupation of the Isle of Guernsey during the second World War. But it isn’t all sad. The kooky characters are splendid and are the perfect vehicles to tell a story that would be otherwise difficult to read.
(“…Isola doesn’t approve of small talk, and believes in breaking the ice by stomping on it.”)

On my Warrior- (laptop)-Speed Spanish. It sounded like a good idea at the time. Now, I find myself at 65 reduced to making flash cards. What’s next? Poodle skirts and bobby sox?

Bernie- How’s it going, Bernie? What’s for lunch over in the big house?

On my Facebook-
Elizabeth Lyon Oregon Writers Colony is soon to unveil a "writer's bare [almost] all calendar for 2010 as a fundraiser for remodeling the writer's haven, Colonyhouse, to become handicap accessible as well to expand to serve more writers. Interested? Contact me and I'll give you the scoop on how to buy the calendar ($19.95 includes shipping). You'll find a lot of author luminaries lending their bods and mugs. Legs Lyon among 'em.

Green writer- I had planned to finish Bears in the Hibiscus and offer it only in eBook format as my green project for the year. After it was finished, I realized I could also publish it on Amazon’s Kindle and stay true to my pledge. Check it out on my website. I’m having an eBook sale this week--$3.00 for the Adobe eBook with voice activation (please see disclaimer on website). Find it on my book site:
www.JanelleMerazHooper.com

quote du jour:
“In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.” Fran Lebowitz


June 01, 2009

It's all President Obama's fault!

2009 Apple pies, fresh from the oven by Dick
Republicans-They are still not getting it. Right now, they're attacking President Obama's pick for Supreme Court Justice, Sonia Sotomayor. Their petty attacks have been pathetic and amusing. For instance, the guy (?) who complained about Sotomayor's name being strange. I'm willing to bet he and the other Republicans don't have any trouble with the athletes' names they see on TV every weekend. Names like: Azubuila, Yakhouba, Ignuodala, Llgauskas, Szczerbiak, Oshiomogho, Jakubauskas, and Yuniesky.
Note to GOP: We're not as dumb as we used to be. We check out everything you say and do on the Internet. And forget about side-tracking us. We know what we want, and we want it as soon as possible:
Jobs; an honest, workable foreign policy; health care; education; PEACE; infrastructure; ETC.
No more crap about nothing. These are serious times. Go home and don't come back until you've grown up.

What's up:
Bernie- What's for lunch over in the big house, Bernie?
On my TV- Some dentist who was telling the audience that "They only had to floss the teeth they wanted to keep..."
On my computer- An online Speed Spanish course. It's a wonderful course. Too bad it doesn't have a wonderful student (in me). I thought it was going to be a piece of cake, but with my nonexistent language skills, it has turned into yellowcake (nuclear waste). I blame it all on President Obama. He had to go and make that speech about everyone taking another year of education. It's his fault I'm in the mess I'm in! (;
Around the house- I have a new bird feeder that I have filled with a blend of birdseed for songbirds. They are eating like little flying pigs, but I have yet to hear one song.
This year, my Lady Di rose and my Peace rose look alike. What happened? But they are gorgeous!
On my bed table- The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. It's wonderful. And Wuthering Heights. I have to confess I've never read this book. I found it for .80 cents in my Amazon Kindle catalog and couldn't resist such a deal. I am really enjoying it. I can't believe I haven't read it sooner.
Quote du jour-"On Wall Street he and a few others - how many? three hundred, four hundred, five hundred? had become precisely that... Masters of the Universe." Tom Wolfe
Visit my website:
I'm having a $3.00 eBook sale on my Bears in the Hibiscus this week...

May 19, 2009

Pakistan and Three Cups of Tea

© Janelle Meraz Hooper 2009 The unknown gardener

What's up:
On my bed table: If you want a true insight into what is going on in Pakistan right now, read Three Cups of Tea (toward the end) by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin. Some of you must wonder if I worked on this book somehow, because I mention it so much. I did not. I just really think it is a dynamite book. I’m almost finished, so you’ll hear about different books soon…unless I decide to read it again.

On my TV: Silly stuff. MTV is running some shows of famous cribs…that may even be the name of the show, I didn’t notice. It was fun to see how the richer segment lives, but I think one show was enough. I get the idea. They’re rich. I’m not. But, hey, as long as I have my computer, I’m happy.

Bernie: How’s Ole Bernie doing over in the big house, has anyone heard? What’s for lunch, Bernie?

Quote du jour:
“Be the type of woman who everyday, when you get up, the devil says, ‘Oh, crap. She’s up!’”
In an email from my daughter.
***
eBook sale: Bears in the Hibiscus, a humorous romance, $3.00 (short time only)
On my website: http://www.janellemerazhooper.com/ Free chapter samples on site.

May 15, 2009

Too many tubs!

© Dick Hooper, 2009


Today’s news- What’s with those ED ads Jim Moran (D-Virginia) is complaining about? I’m old, so I know stuff: folks, it doesn't matter how many pills you take, there’s not going to be any magic happening unless you get rid of at least one of those tubs…

The economy- What’s for lunch over in the big house, Bernie?

On my bed table- Along with my other books, I’ve been re-reading Uncle Tom’s Cabin. It’s much better, and longer, than I remember. The other stuff includes Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin. I’m loving this glimpse of another culture.


On my TV- The Rachel Maddow Show (MSNBC). She has the most interesting and timely guests.

In the neighborhood- Right down the street, just feet from a busy intersection, there’s a new eagle’s nest. I’m wondering if they’re there for the road kill?

Quote du jour:
"Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of the night." P.J. ORourke, AARP May/June/2002

Recession fighter:
eBook sale! $3.00 (short time only)
Bears in the Hibiscus
(also available on Kindle at regular price)
www.JanelleMerazHooper.com


May 01, 2009

Biden is right!

V.P. Biden- Biden is right! Planes are dirty, and those hepa filters they have might really work--if they cleaned them once in a while. I'm flying low today, or I'd have a lot more to say on this subject. I know we have a problem in the economy, but the airlines don't get a free pass for dirty planes just so they can make a buck. People's health comes first.

April 22, 2009

Confusion among the masses (all 2 of them)

Title Trouble- On some book sites, the title of one of my latest novels may read: Custer and His N**ked Ladies. I guess it's triggering some kind of porn filter. Oy! People! Naked Ladies are a flower in Oklahoma--and a metaphor in the book. I can't tell you more because it will spoil the surprise. While I'm at it, Custer isn't that Custer--he died in a miscount years ago...

Fox News- I've heard that Fox News keeps referring to Caesar Chavaz as a dictator. Not so! He was elected. It's all in the details, Fox. Get some.

Bernie- What's Ole Bernie having for lunch over in the big house? Has anybody heard?

Quote du jour:
"Anything worth having is worth cheating for." W. C. Fields, My Little Chickadee (unless, of course, your name is Bernie Madoff)

April 17, 2009

No apple pie today

graphics courtesy of Microsoft

Food bank- Today, I was going to post a photo of two apple pies my husband made. Works of art they were, with steam still coming out of the vents on the crusts. I thought better of it. I'm re-posting the above photo instead.

I know times are tough. They're even tougher for others that we seldom see. Out of sight, out of mind. Those of you who read my blog have read this before, but we still have the problem, so you're going to read it again.

Please, support your local food bank.

Support global efforts to feed the hungry.

We're getting so much wrong, you'd think we could get this one simple thing right. Momma don't want no more hungry children in the world, hear? Now's a great time to write a check. Much better than tomorrow or the next day. 25,000 people a day die from hungar. People! This is a problem we can fix! Let's get on it!

www.JanelleMerazHooper.com


April 16, 2009

What's up?

© 2009 JanelleMerazHooper, Saturday night



In my kitchen- I’ve got a few Easter eggs left. Some cheesecake, ham, and potato salad. I won’t really get back to work until at least the cheesecake is gone.

On my bed table- I have a stack of books and a new Kindle 2. I don’t know which to read first. In the last two weeks, I’ve read The World Wide Rave by David Meerman Scott (Marketing), Graphics on the Kindle, 2nd edition by Manuel Burgos, Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style, and Isaac Mizrahi’s How to Have Style. You may know, I’m heavily into self-help and self-improvement books. The marketing book is a real winner. The graphic book resulted in my dynamite cover on my new Kindle book, Bears in the Hibiscus. So far, I haven’t dazzled anyone with my new style. I don’t care what anyone says, I’m keeping my wardrobe of tee-shirts from book festivals.

Politics- The fizzle in the drizzle. One reporter’s description of The Tea Bag Rebellion in D. C. courtesy of The Rachel Maddow show, MSNBC

No one mentions the pollution all of those teabags are creating in the water. Where’s the EPA?

Bernie-What’s for lunch over there in the big house, Bernie?

Quote du jour:
Make tax day and election day on the same day. Anonymous. Seen on a billboard




New! Baseball short story posted on:


April 08, 2009

Three Cups of Tea

©2009 Joyce Stevens


What’s up?

In my pictures file-a photo (see above) sent to me by my lifelong friend, Joyce, on her Hawaiian vacation. I have a good picture of her eating a snow cone, but I’m afraid she’ll hurt me if I post it! (Aw, Joyce, everyone wears a bikini in Hawaii!)

On my bed table- Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin
I ordered this book so that I could participate in Pierce County Reads, the program where everyone in a certain area reads the same book. I wasn’t real enthusiastic because I had a new book to read already on my bed table, one that I was really excited about: The Seven Pillars of Wisdom by T. E. Lawrence (Lawrence of Arabia). However, I am delighted with the book by Mortenson and Relin. I can barely tear myself away from it to do my work. Get it, you won’t be sorry!

In my garden- Twice in about twenty years, my red camellia in the backyard has bloomed. This is one of those years. I wish I knew what the magic trick is. It is truly gorgeous.

On my TV- Baseball! Go Mariners! And more Boston Legal. Can’t get enough of that Shatner guy.


Politics- Oh! did anyone hear what Ole Bernie had for lunch over in the big house today?

Quote du jour:
“Here (in Pakistan and Afghanistan), we drink three cups of tea to do business; the first you are a stranger, the second you become a friend, and the third, you join our family, and for our family we are prepared to do anything—even die.”--Haji Ali, Korphe Village Chief, Karakoram Mountains, Pakistan (Three Cups of Tea)

www.JanelleMerazHooper.com

My new novel on Kindle:

Bears in the Hibiscus

Order from Amazon Kindle

April 02, 2009

Bears in the Hibiscus

Kindle cover, Rare Arts

My new romance- Bears in the Hibiscus, is now on Kindle! Thank you, everyone who helped with this project!

Politics-How about our President Obama and First Lady Michelle? Woo-hoo! The magic is back!
Ole Bernie-How's he doing today? What are they serving for lunch over there in the big house? I hear they keep confiscating millions and millions that he thought he'd hidden. How does that song go? You can't run from the long arm of the law?

Bush et all-I hear some of our past elected officials better not travel abroad--they may be arrested for war crimes. Will someone send those guys a travel catalog?

Amazon-I'm waiting for delivery of a whole stack of books. My UPS man and Bezos make such a nice couple.

Quote du jour:

"One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter." Die Another Day, movie

March 24, 2009

New, improved cover!

Cover art: Kindle@RareArts.com
Book design: Walt@FiveRainbows.com

Kindle Project-For those of you producing a book to put on Amazon's Kindle, take note of the two resources below my new cover. Believe me, it will make your life so much easier. There is also a helpful book on Kindle Graphics: Graphics On The Kindle by Manuel Burgos (Rare Arts). If you're an author and don't know about the 16 shades of gray, get this book!

After days of trying to get this project done on my own, I turned to these two sources. They improved the design and readibility of my book immensely. I thank them from the bottom of my heart.

Bernie Madoff-I didn't get my wish. They didn't send Ole Bernie to a regular prison. But at least, they sent him to prison.

AIG-I feel so much better about them after their name change to AIU, don't you? It should have been changed to AOU (America Owns Us). Those greedy stinkers.

Republicans-When will they catch up with the rest of the nation? They are so out of touch they need a ladder to pick flowers.

Obama-I love the example he's setting for the rest of the nation's fathers. Taking time off to be with his family for his girls' spring break is fabulous! I am very impressed.

On my TV- I have just discovered Boston Legal (I'm always about three years behind the trend when it comes to TV shows because they have to compete with the History Channel and baseball). I love it! William Shatner is such a delight. His sidekick, James Spader, is also wonderful, but the whole cast shines. What fun to see Candice Burgen more often!

On my bed table- I've been researching old westerns. They are so bad, I won't list them here. But the American West is a new passion of mine. Along with Lawrence of Arabia. I have a lot of new books on order from that www place that is named after a jungle. So I'll be reading some more of the newer bestsellers. I have to order paperbacks instead of Kindle books because of a complicated gift card purchase I made from a relative.

Quote du jour:
"Never pass up a good beach!" Janelle Meraz Hooper (Inspired from my new romance.)
Read sample pages from my new book:

March 15, 2009

Bears in the Hibiscus


Hi! I finally did get the PayPal connected for my new novel on www.JanelleMerazHooper.com . I don't think there's a way to do it here on Google. Wait, there has to be. Maybe it's time for bed. It's been a 13-hour day.

Quote du jour:

"I'm either going to be a writer or a bum." Carl Sandburg

March 10, 2009

That big, yellow square box in the road...

Yesterday, it snowed again here (and for the three days before). We live on a hill, and a school bus stalled right in front of my house. The woman got out, and dutifully put a small, orange triangular warning road hazard sign behind the bus. How funny! It's required, I know, but if someone can't see a big yellow school bus stuck in white snow...I'm just sayin'...
Bears in the Hibiscus is ready. Maybe I'll get the Paypal hooked up today on www.JanelleMerazHooper.com It'll be on Kindle soon, too. Maybe even Sony. And in a paper cup with string near you...