5 days until Winter Solstice!

2003 (?) copyright, JMH

We got our tree today, but it is still too wet to decorate. Tomorrow. The last few years, I've been threatening to cut down on the decorations, but if I don't put up everything, the rest of the family digs until there's nothing at the bottom of the Christmas trunk except old newspaper, and they spread it all over the house like peanut butter on crackers. Joy to the world. At least someone has some sense.

But this year, it's going to be tough. I'm so far behind I can see my own back pockets. Whose idea was it to put out a new novel at Christmas, anyway? How crazy was that? I'm sure everyone has dropped everything to sit on the pile of their own Christmas rubble and read Custer and His Naked Ladies--not!

There's only one way to gain back some control. The writing offices of JMH are closed until the refrigerator is restocked with eggnog, and every string of lights is glittering on the tree. Of course, if anyone wants a book signed...

Seven days until Winter Solstice!

copyright 2006, JMH

7 days until Winter Solstice!

It's all coming back to me now. I think I got my winter blues from my mother, who was born and raised in the Southwest. Once, in the dread of winter, she wandered into our Tacoma living room and moaned, "I haven't seen the moon for 28 days!" It wasn't just the sun she missed.

Anyway, it's all down hill from here. Christmas is finally kicking in, and we plan to put up our tree tomorrow. By the time the 21st gets here, I may have forgotten all about the doom and gloom of a rainy winter in the Great Northwest...until next year.

Custer and His Naked Ladies- Mom was killed in a car accident before she ever got to read any of my stories about her and her sisters. I'll always regret that...

There's still plenty of time to order your copy of Custer. It makes a good gift for the women on your list!

Wow! I just heard a cuckoo bird. No lie! We're not even supposed to have them here, but they think a winter storm blew some in years ago, and they survived. I can't remember where they came from...maybe Japan?

8 days until Winter Solstice!

copyright 2006, JMH

8 more days!

Augh! It's not just the dreary skies, it's the quiet. If it weren't for the next door neighbor's rooster, there would be no sound at all in the morning. Oh, I'm sure the birds are singing somewhere (like maybe Arizona)--just not here. I haven't even seen a crow for days. No lie.

I have new Christmas ornaments, though. We're having some work done on our eaves, and they have discovered wasp nests. I think I'll spray them gold and put them on our tree.

Custer and His Naked Ladies-my new book is being very well received. There's still lots of time to order your copy. It's a good read. iUniverse, $15.95. I've posted sample chapters on my main site.

Well, off to get some light into this house. Maybe I should knock out the wall near my fireplace and put in a nice window overlooking my deserted birdbath (whine, whine, whine).

9 days until Winter Solstice!

copyright 2006, JMH

9 days until Winter Solstice!

The photo above is from one of last year's snowstorms. This year, we've had floods, and I didn't feel like photographing people's homes floating down the river, or their basements filled with mud. In the sixties, we had a TV weatherman who took a better job in California, but he didn't stay long. The weather there was too boring. Now, he might feel differently. They've got as many problems as we do.

Dreary days are good for getting a lot of work done. I'm well on the way with my new novel...before most of my readers have even read Custer and His Naked Ladies. (available for order at all Internet and walk-in bookstores).

Maybe we'll get the tree up this weekend. That should perk things up around here. I was hoping to get our new TV cabinet upstairs first, but it has been so cold in my husband's workshop, and the project is behind. It's been 35 degrees here, and his workshop is unheated. It's zero fun to run a saw when you can't feel your fingers from the wood.

My Christmas shopping is about done. Family members shopping for me are having a rough time--there's nothing I want this year. I'd rather send a check to the food bank, or the Save the Manatee fund. I just feel like I have all the stuff I need.

Our president looks like he's been rode hard and put away wet (a Western saying I'm throwing in for my readers in Europe.). Well, you reap what you sow. Hmmm...I wonder if Santa has new presidents in that sack he carries?

Quote du Jour:
"Careful, or you'll be in my next novel." Catalog humor (on a sweatshirt)

10 days to Winter Solstice...

copyright 1999, Dick Hooper

Countdown: 10 days!

Ten days until Winter Solstice! It's a big date for me, as I hate the dark winters. The only time I haven't was when I was a docent at The Anchorage Museum...where winters were the darkest. Every morning, I'd spring out of bed and race down the hill so I'd be at the museum in time for the first school bus to roll in. Before I left our apartment, I'd always tell my husband that I'd be back early enough to get our dinner cooked, but everyday, it seemed, I'd fly through the apartment door just before he did. I could go on and on about Alaska, but this is not the place. Maybe another time.

Now, in Washington, I am without my beloved museum, and it is just dark. I don't even bother to look for my coffeepot until eight o'clock. The only light bounces off my laptop screen when it flashes Yahoo!

Woo-hoo! I answer back. Saved for another day. Did I tell you there are only ten more days until Winter Solstice? I think I did.

Oh! The photo of the two moose was taken by my husband. He has a ton of them.

Custer and His Naked Ladies was written in the Southwest, and it's a good cure for winter darkness. The days must grow shorter, even down there, but I don't remember. I do remember being cold. In Alaska, I learned that there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad gear." In Oklahoma, all of my gear was bad because I chose my wardrobe for looks. I guess I was trying to keep up with my peers. So I looked good--even if my skin was blue. As I write this, I'm wearing my sheepskin house slippers, so I have learned something...

The Sum Of All Fears

copyright JMH, 2007

My grandmother used to really get into her television shows. She'd sit right in front of her little eighteen inch black and white screen and yell at the characters to "Run!" "Get out of there!" "Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!"

I've been watching The Sum of All Fears while doing our Christmas cards, and when it came to my favorite part--the part when they have to get the president out of the football stadium because there's a nuclear bomb--I found myself shouting, "Go! Go! Go!" Just like my grandmother used to. I want to feel that way about our president again. Oh, well, maybe next time...

Thank goodness for my wicked stepmother!

Think Hanukkah & Christmas!

I finally got my laptop back--woo-hoo! I'm really behind in everything, but I wanted to take a moment to plug my book Free Pecan Pie and Other Chick Stories. It makes a great stocking stuffer or hostess gift. iUniverse, $12.95. More info on my www site.

Of course, Custer and His Naked Ladies would also make a great gift. Both of these books have to be ordered (from all the usual places), so start early! I've posted a sample chapter on my regular website. iUniverse, $15.95

Ya'll enjoy your Christmas shopping. when I was a kid I could never please my stepmother with my Christmas gift to her, and she always let me know the minute she saw me. As a result, I was beginning to hate Christmas when I confided my problem to a friend. "Ha!" she scoffed. "I give people what I want to give them and what I can afford. If they don't like it, it's just too bad." I wish I could remember her name--she saved Christmas for me.

Thank goodness for my wicked stepmother--she was worth three books!

Quote du Jour:
"You don't have to have a good start to have a great finish!" Joyce Meyer

Who's Custer?

I'm still without a computer, but I snagged my grandson's again for a little bit.
I'm being asked who Custer is in my new novel, Custer and His Naked Ladies...maybe this will help:

...The policemen were reaching for their third donut when their radio squawked and they had to go. "Don't be afraid to call us, Gracie," Marshall said as he quickly finished his coffee. "We don't like these guys anymore than you do, and I sure don't want them to get too comfortable here. They might never go home."

On his way out the door, he stopped to pet the old yellow dog that was now wearing an orange bandana.

"Mom, who does that dog belong to?" Glory asked after the two policemen left.

"Custer? He thinks he belongs to all of us. He walks us all to our cars when we leave, and patrols the apartments at night. But first, he was Nadine's. Then when she died, he moved to Rudolf's. When he died, he went to the Asian cook who lives on the corner."

"Oh, so he belongs to Junco?"

"No, she died so he moved to Mickey's. Most of the time no one moves him, he just gets up and moves himself. He seems to know when someone isn't coming back."

Glory gave the dog a leery eye. "I think that dog is bad luck; if he showed up on my porch, I'd shoot him."

Now, about those Naked Ladies...

Order your copy today from all the usual places. Distributed by Ingram, Baker & Taylor, and others. $15.95, iUniverse.

Do not buy this writer technology!

My memory of ever having a computer is beginning to fade. I think I had one, but I'm not sure. Last night, around two, my phone rang. No one was there. Was it my laptop trying to contact me?

Seriously, this situation has become ridiculous. How long does it take to put in a new wireless switch? Meanwhile, I've got stacks of books that I pre-sold waiting to go out to readers and all the addresses are in my laptop...oh, wellll...

I guess I'll try to figure out some of this technology I've got around here. Some of it from three Christmases ago. I should have a tee-shirt printed that says : Do not buy this writer any more technology for Christmas! My brain can't handle anymore confusion.

Or I could do some Christmas shopping. Mostly, I buy people books. I'll even send out a few of my new novel (Custer and His Naked Ladies) to family members. Their addresses aren't in my laptop, so I can get to them. For the men, there is a lot to chose from this year. You can sure tell it's an election year!

Zenn there yet?

Since I am STILL without a computer, I plan to finish my new novel on yellow legal paper. I'll have it copied at Kinko's (about 5 copies should do it).
I'm sorry I couldn't post the green turkey dressing story. Maybe next year.

Writing tip- document everything, even if you think you'll never need it. If whatever you're writing is any good, someone will want to look at it. If whatever you're writing is bad, everyone will want to look at it.

Green writers- Do green writers drive green cars? If so, Rick Mercer (The Mercer Report) says Canada has one called Zenn (I love it already) that runs on batteries, is totally quiet, and has zero emissions. I hear it's about $12,000. At the rate our money is going, it'll probably cost us a little more. But think of it! No gas! No lines! No standing outside in the rain while we're getting robbed by a gas pump. If I were due for a new car, this one would be at the top of my list. Did I mention it was cute? I know I always say to buy American, but buying Canadian is the next best thing. Our neighbors to the North are like family anyway.

My '97 red Blazer (the small version) only has 45,000 miles on it, so I won't be trading in for a new car anytime soon. All of my friends are driving BMWs or Mercedes, so I'm beginning to look really eccentric. I don't care; especially at the first of the month. My little car has been paid for for years and I hope I never have to buy a new car because car payments have always made me cranky.

Where's John Wayne?

Thanksgiving- This is time of year I miss the girls the most. The women I wrote about in my Turtle Trilogy were based on real characters--my mother and her sisters, and their mother. The story in Free Pecan Pie and Other Chick Stories about the Thanksgiving when my Aunt Pat stirred spinach into my mom's cornbread dressing is true. If I get my laptop back, I'll post the story for you.
With Custer and His Naked Ladies, I say goodbye to the women I so admired when I was growing up. And with them, I say goodbye to writing about the other members of the family. Some of them may have been sweating my writing career. When I was a kid, I used to sit on the floor in the corner and take in all the family secrets--no one paid any attention to me--I was just a kid. Well, the kid has a very good memory; I just never had any intention of writing a tell-all. So now, I'm done. Everybody can relax, ha.
My latest novel, a romance, is set in the Northwest, and has all new characters. It's only a quarter of the way finished, so the outline is nearly as big as the book. So far, I'm calling it Ralph, but that will have to change. I don't want to open the door to a lawsuit!
My husband is cooking the turkey tomorrow, so I guess I should at least pick up the recording stuff so he can get to the table. We're alone for the first time this year as our little family is spending Turkey Day with the other side of the family, so we are cooking a teeny-tiny turkey that will cook really fast. We plan on spending the time we save playing with our grown-up toys. Dick, a hobby woodworker, is making a new cabinet for our TV, and I'm going to play with my camcorder. It's hard to find time to do the fun stuff nowadays.
I wish you all a very happy holiday. Let's all say a prayer for our troops tomorrow, dear Fellow Americans.
I know the rest of the world is disgusted with our president (and probably with us, too), but they should see the situation from our side. The pain is almost unbearable. Everyday, we get another dose of news about how corrupt our president is. There seems to be no end in sight. We may never know the details of how a man with no integrity and fried brains managed to steal the presidency TWICE, but it makes me very afraid for our future. Does gullibility necessarily have to come with goodness? I hope not, because we are a good people. I know that. At the same time, what if it happens again; how will we ever survive? Some of us don't know how we'll survive the rest of the year, much less beyond that.
Well, where's John Wayne when we really need him?

Living On a Rocky Beach, Surviving Arthritis

STILL no computer. I plan to swing by the store later today and lay a wreath on the counter where it was last seen. I'm out of mailing labels, bookmarks, business cards, etc. Yikes!

Meanwhile, I've introduced a new booklet titled Living On a Rocky Beach, Surviving Arthritis. It's available on my regular website (that www thing that I'm not supposed to mention). Ya'll don't buy one yet--I haven't got a way to produce it until I get my computer back. My putting it on my site was an act of optimism. I am so gullible...one to two weeks, they said!

The writers strike is still on--and I've decided that's a good thing. So far this week, I've heard promos for three shows that sound really sleazy.

Catalog humor:
On a sweatshirt: Librarian--the thin line between you and the CIA

Audios, Amigo!

Audio- I'm still without my Warrior. How many years has it been? While I've been waiting, I've been recording some sample pages of Custer and His Naked Ladies for you to listen to. I'll post them on my regular website when I get my laptop back. I'll post them here, too, if I can figure out how!

I love doing the graphic part of marketing, but the techie stuff is difficult for me. Right now, I'm trying to edit the pages I've put onto my Boss Br-600, and I have to take each step one at a time, each time, as my brain was calibrated to write novels, and it doesn't retain anything with numbers readily. Each time , I have to get out the instruction book and start from scratch. I keep a candle on my desk to light before I attempt any Boss function. Have mercy! Later!

Smoke those salmon!

11-11-07- I've lost count of how many days it has been since I saw my computer. I suppose it's in California somewhere...that's where head offices are on the west coast. Except for Microsoft. Those guys are too geeky to know there's no sun here...something like novelists. If it weren't for this loaner, I would truly be in a straight jacket by now. I'm thankful for it, but it doesn't have the graphic programs I need to design bookmarks and other book materials.

Anyway, I hope my Warrior is getting some sun, because there sure isn't any here. I kept busy the last few days by watching the pork belly futures, but there are no stock reports on Sunday.

At least, there is no footage of OJ's trial, either. I'm so sick of that guy. There aren't enough gingersnaps in the world to make me watch CNN while he's still on.

Custer and His Naked Ladies- I'm working on the audio of the first pages of my new novel on my Boss BR-600. I'll put it on my website when I get it done...hopefully sometime before the Arctic ice cap melts. It has really been tough, especially since I've never been good at multi-tasking, and Boss has more buttons than a French officer's uniform (and, yes, I have seen a French officer, we even danced).

Writing tip- Please know your crafts if you are writing about them. Whoever told those Madison Avenue types that they were so special they didn't have to know a crochet hook from a knitting needle (in the Charmin ad) or that you should never run from a bear (in that cereal ad)?

Gotta go-Smok 'em if ya got 'em-- salmon, that is...this is the Northwest, ya know!

Pork bellies and ginger snaps

11-09-07- Dear friends,
It seems that I go through a computer everytime I write a book, and this time was no exception. This last book has thrown my computer into such spasms that it has had to be sent back to the company from which it came--I'm told it may be gone 2 weeks or more. This message is being sent courtesy of a family member who has graciously consented to loan me his laptop so that I may check my messages.

I have now been without my Warrior for 8 days. My eyes no longer focus from watching the numbers on pork bellies go around and around the bottom of my screen on the financial channels. I have no pork bellies of my own--I can barely stand pork chops on my plate. But it's either pork bellies or OJ (whoever told the networks we care about that guy?).

More than one more week to go. When I do get my laptop back, I have a lot of work ahead of me, as I did not save the latest edits on my new novel to a disk because I thought the problem was fixed. How dumb was that?

Which leads me to my writers tip for today:
There are two mantras for writers that must never be ignored:
1. Back up! Back up! Back up! and...
2. Reboot! Reboot, Reboot!

Writing green- Have you changed the bulbs in your office yet to those energy saving ones? You know, the ones that look like curly fries...I hear they save a ton of energy. We're in the midst of remodeling here, so I don't have them yet, but I will soon.

Custer and His Naked Ladies- Those of you who pre-ordered your copy will be getting them sometime next week, as my shipment is due in Monday.

Decorate those dust bunnies!

©Joyce Stevens, 2006
You saw this coming, right?

Order now!
Custer and His Naked Ladies
by Janelle Meraz Hooper

When her husband unexpectedly dumps her, Glory boards an Oklahoma-bound plane at Sea-Tac Airport. On her way to the ticket counter, she takes the framed photo of her husband out of her gym bag and dumps it--frame and all--into the nearest garbage bin. She has wasted too many years on a man who doesn't want her, and her biological clock is beginning to pound like a powwow drum. iUniverse, $15.95

Email your name and address to me and I'll send you an autographed bookmark!

11-01-07- Okay, let’s get on with it. Organize those shopping lists. Decorate those dust bunnies under the bed. Dye those roots on your hair. Christmas is coming! But we still have some time for a blogger chat...

Writing tips-
Take a break- If you’re between books, and feeling burnt out, take a break. I learned this from Elizabeth Lyon (A Writer’s Guide to Fiction). I always tended to think I was being lazy if I wasn't writing. Now, after my fourth book, I’m realizing that it is a good idea to take some time off to recharge my batteries.

Writing green- scan your research from books and put it in a folder. Then, copy it to a disk. Piles of paper printouts are wasteful and can get lost—causing us to reprint the information—that we then lose again before the writing project is finished.

Quote du jour:

“The first time I met Karen Nichols, she struck me as the kind of woman who ironed her socks.” Dennis Lehane. Prayers for Rain, courtesy of Elizabeth Lyon, author

Happy Halloween!

©Joyce Stevens, 2006
Happy Halloween!

From: Free Pecan Pie and Other Chick Stories:

Wanda, the Wicked Writer of the Northwest
by Janelle Meraz Hooper

Wanda never went to the mailbox without her baseball bat. For every rejection she found, she gave the box one whack. Of course, this scared the bats that lived in the box’s belfry silly, but Wanda was always so angry that she didn’t notice.
Back inside her house, Wanda meticulously filed away each rejection. The rejected stories about gardening she kept neatly stacked under a leaky flowerpot. The children’s stories she filed in the bottom of her bird’s cage, and the novel rejections she filled at the bottom of her cat’s litter box.
Wanda was especially chagrined at the rejection of her latest 500,000-word novel. What were they thinking? It had a plot and everything! Actually, it had several plots—it was about a gravedigger who was afraid of dirt.
Other stories were rejected because they didn’t follow required format. Format, smormat! So what if the stories weren’t double-spaced? So what if she used the Rave font instead of Times Roman? So what if she didn’t include a SASE? One story was returned because she didn’t put any postage on it. The nerve.
They had to be punished. The whole lot. Publishers. Agents. Newspaper editors. All of them.
The ticked witch went to her kitchen and whipped up a batch of special candy for the rejectors. She’d show them to have a little respect. She filled her black kettle with a recipe of special hard candies that turned into wiggling slugs when they were sucked on.

After the candies were wrapped in Halloween paper, she put them into a tote bag and took off for New York. Thanks to her new 300 high-speed broom, she was able to zip in and out of each office without being seen.
Back home, Wanda poured a glass of wine and lit the candle in her Halloween pumpkin. Then she turned on CNN and waited patiently for the story to break. Soon, all over the city there were reports of people in the writing businesses choking on slugs. Oh, they just choked a little—they didn’t die. And how those slugs loved to sing! When they were spat out, they stood up and sang in a perfect imitation of Aretha Franklin: R-E-S-P-E-C-T! (Find out what it means to me…take care of TCB!)
Wanda put out the cat and turned out the lights. Tomorrow, she’d start a new novel. This one would be really big.


Custer and His Naked Ladies- Order now from your favorite bookstore! Distributed by Ingram, Baker & Taylor and others…

Quote du jour:
“Where there is no imagination there is no horror.”

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, courtesy of Halloween Sayings.com

Who was King Ubu?

©Joyce Stevens, 2006
Two days left until Halloween!

10-28-07- Custer and His Naked Ladies is in! Order your copy today at your favorite Internet or walk-in bookstore!

Email* me your name and address and I'll send you an autographed bookmark! *JanelleMHooper@comcast.net

Writing tips-

Files- when I was in high school and college, I used to keep cards on each book that I read with the idea that I could refer back to them years later and use the notes for research. I found that stack of cards tonight at the bottom of a desk drawer. The list of books that I read was impressive for an Oklahoma hick, but, alas, my notes turned out to be childish and useless. But you try it. You’ll be better at it than I was, for sure. But me, I’m still strying to figure out why I wrote six cards on a book called King Ubu. And how could I have read so many books and still not had a clue about what was bothering the main character in Hemingway’s The Sun Also Rises?

Green writing- Save yourself! Get the artificial air fresheners out of your office. they are unhealthy, and goodness knows, writers seem to be sick enough without any extra help.

Who knew?- I learned a lot from BBC this weekend. I’ve been a fan of the Internet and computers for years. I do a lot of my research on the Internet. I play. I communicate. But this weekend, I learned how magical the Internet is. My Space? Utube? Phish…they’re small potatoes.

The BBC says that the Internet has given tortured people all over the world a way to instantly notify the world of their unjust treatment.
No one can stop the Internet. No permission is needed to use it. It’s free. Now, stonings in Iran are no longer a secret. The government can deny them all they want, but the film is there for all of us to see. Atrocities in Darfur are posted around the globe in real time. Anything that happens in Afghanistan is front screen news.
Where are the people in these mostly poor nations getting computers? They don’t need laptops—they are using their cell phones. Think of it: sending world-changing evidence in text and film with a tiny cell phone. In our prayers for peace and justice, did we ever dream that the answer to our prayers would be delivered by a cell phone just like the one we forget to charge half the time?

I still don’t know how some of these people are charging their batteries, but maybe the BBC will tell us that next week.

Quote du jour:

"Do not wait for leaders. Do it alone. Person to person." Mother Teresa

Writers, trained seals, and clowns

©Joyce Stevens, 2006
Four days until Halloween!

10-26-07- Custer and His Naked Ladies is available now on my book website from the publisher. I have no books of my own yet—it could be weeks. Those of you who have pre-ordered will get an autographed copy that should bring you more money when you resell it on Ebay! Someone told me once that bids were up to $60.00 on Ebay for my first novel, A Three-Turtle Summer ( I never saw it myself). How strange is that? To whoever bought that book I have one thing to say: www.JanelleMerazHooper.com ! Geez!

Writing tip- Talk less, listen more.

Writing green- Think green whenever you purchase carpets and furniture for yur office. There’s a carpet company now that will take back its carpet tiles and recycle them when you get tired of them. How cool is that? New hardwood floors? Think bamboo…it’s very eco-friendly and economical.

Quote du jour:
“Writers are a little below clowns and a little above trained seals.” John Steinbeck

"Shall we dance?"

© Joyce Stevens, 2006

8 Days until Halloween!

10-19-07- We don’t celebrate Halloween like we used to. Kids don’t stop by anymore because the schools and malls have organized events with enough candy to make Willie Wonka envious. It’s just as well. It’s a lot safer. But I do miss the little tykes.

Custer and His Naked Ladies- I noticed over the weekend that my new novel is listed at the iUniverse bookstore. All of the information isn’t up yet, but the book can be ordered, I think. It’ll take a month or so before it gets listed on the other sites (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, etc.).

Writing tips- Don’t worry so much about getting published—first, concentrate on writing the very best book you can. Write it…then rewrite it. Then, sit on it awhile and rewrite it again.

Writing green- I heard over the weekend that Duracell has a rechargable battery system now. I’ve been leery about trusting some of my equipment to the other brands. I’ll look into Duracell’s product. Everything I have (cameras, camcorders, audio equipment, computer mouse) uses batteries.

Quote du jour:
“Shall we dance?” Anna, from the movie The King and I
Deborah Kerr 1921-2007 Thanks, Deborah.