How much more?

Long Beach, Washington, 2006, JMH

Quote du jour:

"A patriot loves his country all the time, and his government when it deserves it." Mark Twain, courtesy of Keith Olbermann, MSNBC Countdown

"Yesterday, you really ticked me off..."

I'm not even going to bother to copyright this--ya'll have at it!

3-18-07-Finally! A new photo. It’s not much, but it’s the only thing blooming in my yard right now. I never got around to pruning my hydrangeas last summer. Maybe I could go out and spray the dry blooms blue.

On my CD player-Tony Bennett’s Duets- I dunno. Lately I’ve had a craving for music with lyrics that I can understand. Movies with plots. Books with characters. They seem to be few and far between.

On my bed table-Nothing! I’ve misplaced my new copy of Voncille Shipley’s Left For Dead. I had set aside today to read it as a reward for editing Custer all week. I have gone nuts trying to look under the bed, bed table, couch, coffee table, etc. and it isn’t easy from a wheelchair. I really hate it when I drop things! Whatever it is always rolls out of reach. Ha!

Quote du jour:
“I love you more today than yesterday…yesterday you really ticked me off…” catalog humor (unknown)

"I don't want to be dead..."

Cover photo for

As Brown As I Want

The Indianhead Diaries

Come see me!

April 26 (Thursday), 2007, 6:30-8:30 PM Chloe Park Elementary School

1700 Palisade Blvd., Dupont, WA

3-12-07-I’ve had questions about the cover photo on my book As Brown As I Want, The Indianhead Diaries. The photo really is of me and my cousin. The book was mislabeled from the get-go because I didn’t fully understand the genres when I published. It is not fiction, but more correctly, fictional autobiography. As is A Three-Turtle Summer. I guess the publisher assumed it was fiction because it’s a humorous book about my father trying to murder me for the insurance money. I was just ahead of the trend—there’s a lot of that going around lately. Not all of us live our childhoods like The Beaver.
So, why, you may ask, is the book funny? I don’t know…except that maybe it’s because he’s gone and I’m still here! Brown as a finalist in the 2004 Oklahoma Book Awards).
My next book- Custer and His Naked Ladies, is all fiction, except for the endearing personalities of my mother and aunts. This is because after I grew up, my real life became very dull (even though wonderful!). I didn’t think the reader could bear the boring truth. So, for the last book in the Turtle Trilogy, I gave Glory a hunky Indian, a fabulous night on a buffalo rug, and surprises that I don’t want to give away. Don’t miss it! It’s a hoot!
Spring-With the first day of spring coming up next week, it seemed appropriate to make sure I was ready for warmer weather. In other words, did my swimsuit still fit? The question used to be a lot more complex.
In my teens, the question was: can I get out of the store with it after Mom sees it?
In college, it was: do I really need a forty dollar swimsuit to go rafting down the Wenatchee River with an ice chest full of beer tied to a rubber raft?
As a young Army wife, it was: can I wear this suit in a pool full of young recruits without a tee shirt over it?
Ah, those were the days. Yes. The swimsuit still fits. That part was simple. But where the heck is my snorkel?
Reality-Today, I feel guilty about writing about something as frivolous as a swimsuit. I keep having a vision of our forefathers daring to rebel against England. What did they have that we don’t have? Why aren’t we marching on Washington? When did we become so law-abiding (read: afraid)? And, if we are going to tolerate this president who makes the Wizard of Oz look like a genius, what’s to become of us? How much more trouble can this guy get us into in the months he has left? One shudders to consider the possibilities!
On my bed table-a stack of unopened boxes (I've been out of town), including Voncille Shipley’s first mystery, Left For Dead. Can’t wait to open it!
On my TV- Pullllleeese! If it weren’t for the cable history and science shows, I’d only be watching Keith Olbermann. ABC, CBS, and NBC seem to be in a race to see how low they can go…and I predict a tie.
On my DVD machine-Crossroads, Images of the Colville Valley, 1800-1850. It features journals, artwork, and music from the period of contact in the Inland Northwest. Get your copy at MAC (the Museum of Art and Culture) in Spokane.

quote du jour:

"I don't want to be dead, but what can I do? If Dad wants to kill me, he'll kill me. After all, I'm just a kid."--Glory, in As Brown As I Want, The Indianhead Diaries

God doesn't put labels on heads

all rights reserved, JMH

3-01-07-The photo is old. I just saw the film of the tornado at Enterprise, Alabama on the news, so I won’t whine about not being able to get out to take new photos because of our cold weather.

Britney Spears-I guess Britney Spears has started a new, bald trend among some of her admirers. I won’t be one of them. It takes a lot of confidence to shave a head that hasn’t been seen since birth and believe you’ll feel good about what you see when the hair hits the floor. I’m old enough to know better. God only made a few perfect heads and he didn’t label them. With my luck, my head looks like a cauliflower underneath all my blond (with lots of help) hair. I wonder if Britney has noticed that she doesn’t look so good either? I can just hear her little wheels turn: “I know! I’ll get a big tattoo and cover it up…” Can’t someone help that poor girl before we lose her like we did Anna Nicole Smith? She’s just a kid…

Quote du jour:
Harry Zimm: “I once asked this literary agent what writing paid the best, and he said, ‘Ransom notes.’” Get Shorty

Talking to the local chickens...

JMH, all rights reserved

2-28-07-Judges in this country are approaching the IQ needed to run for president. For heaven's sake, bury that poor girl. Even her silicone is beginning to sag*.

On my bed table-The Great Hobokan Chicken Emergency by D. Manus Pinkwater-I found this book in my daughter’s room. I’ve always meant to read it and today was the day. Cute book. I’m sure it’ll come up in any conversations I have with the local chickens. In my business, I call this research. Tee-hee.

On my TV-The Turner Movie Channel. I've discovered they run real movies--with a plot, characters, and everything! Who knew? I'd almost forgotten what watching a real movie was like. The junk they call movies on the regular channels makes me yearn for hockey (and I hate hockey).

*For those of you lucky enough to be living someplace else: Anna Nicole Smith

Quote du jour:
“Only nut cases want to be president.” A Man Without a Country, Kurt Vonnegut

Save the giant squid!

copyright 2000, Janelle Meraz Hooper

02-26-07-The photo is the cover for a collection of short stories. Love the title (it's a secret) and cover--someday, I should write the stories to go with it...
New Zealand fishermen-I think I know why everything except, possibly, common household flies, is ending up on endangered lists: whenever we discover a new, rare creature, we kill it and send it to a laboratory somewhere. We know we have giant squid, why do we kill every one we catch? Didn’t science get the memo: Take nothing but pictures, leave nothing but footprints?!

Quote du jour:

"The bottom line is in heaven." Edwin Herbert Land

Blood On the Wheel!

It's so dreary out that the weeds I have indoors are looking good to me!

copyright, 2007 JMH

02-23-07-It’s tax time in my area. Between the county, state, and federal tax reporting, the season runs longer than Christmas. It’s not that I mind writing the checks, it’s that the check I write is so small. I'm thinking of writing a new book in the horror/suspense,romance/disabled genre--something for everybody! I'll name it something classy like: Blood On the Wheel or Lipstick On the Gun.

The judge-I’m trying to pretend that whole hearing about where Anna Nicole Smith will be buried didn’t happen this week. What a nightmare!

Custer and His Naked Ladies-Permissions are in, and now I’ll tweak until I decide what to do with it. Any Hispanic agents out there?

Save the AFLAC Duck!- He and the Geico Cavemen are the only bright spots on my TV.

Google’s Font Fairy-I’m still struggling with the font sizes in Google’s new format. One is too big, the other, too small. Or maybe it’s just my laptop. Or my eyes. Can ya’ll read it?

Having failed to get an attractive space between margins on the left and margins for the quote that are centered, I give up. Just pretend the quote is centered nicely on the page, okay?

Quote du jour:
“It is justice, not charity, that is wanting in the world.” Mary Wollstonecraft

Save the duck!

JMH, all rights reserved

02-20-07-The photo is from my collection of doors. The sign said: Don't even think of parking here!

AFLAC Duck-No more AFLAC duck?! Say it isn’t so! I’ll never forget my grandson’s comment—he was about 5—when he ran over to me and said, “Gramma, I know how they do that. They teach that duck to say that!”

Words-The rescue of the climbers on Mt. Hood yesterday brought into focus the definitions of two words that we all know: rescue and recovery. How different they are! By the time the day was over, I was even glad to see that skinny black dog! We’ve had far too many recoveries lately—and way too few rescues. Good job, guys!

On my TV- Cabin in the Sky, with an all black cast that I could watch over and over (and will). Ethel Waters, Lena Horne, and all the other greats are tightly packed into a movie that is a treat for the ears, a feast for the eyes, and a gift to the mind. Don’t miss it! Thank you, Comcast On Demand!


Baseball-The players reported to spring training this week. Ask me later on if that’s a good thing. I’m having trouble being enthusiastic about players who make millions being unable to catch a ball—even when it hits them in the hands. Even so, it is baseball—and this is America…play ball!

Quote du jour:
“Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball, the rules and realities of the game—and do it by watching first some high school or small-town teams.” Jacques Barzun

Still looking for the Font Fairy...

Quanah Parker's House, copyright JMH

2-15-07-This is my new plan: if I don't have anything to say, I'll just throw up an interesting picture. This is the house that used to belong to Quanah Parker, a Comanche chief.

What I'm really doing- is looking for an acceptable size font for this blog. They say this is large.

Quote du jour:

"Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry." Gloria Steinem

D. C. is full of monkeys!

copyright JMH

2-15-07-The photo is from a trip to St. Thomas years ago. It reminds me of that saying about when God closes a door he opens a window. Here, windows abound--pick one!

Font Fairy-My Font Fairy deserted me yesterday. After I'd signed off, I realized that Google's new format shrinks fonts smaller than usual size. This font is labeled huge--I'll be the judge of that!

Custer and His Naked Ladies-The book is still waiting for permissions. Meanwhile, I've started the first novel with a Northwest setting. It has no title yet, but I'm calling it Ralph, for reasons I can't explain. It's going to be difficult for me to change settings, but I imagine my relatives are breathing heavy sighs of relief that I've finally stopped writing about them!

Quote du jour:

An example from the monkey: "The higher it climbs, the more you see of its behind." Saint Bonaventure

Listen to your Font Fairy!

copyright, JMH

2-14-07-The photo above was taken from my files. I used to be an organic gardener. The berries were in my back pasture.

Kids- What's wrong with our kids? So far, this month, we've had Gonzaga University basketball players--on a full ride scholarship--caught with drugs! Now that's got to warm the cockles of their parents' hearts. Then, there were the students from the Air Firce Academy who cheated during a test using the text messaging feature on their phones. Somebody needs to be slapped--on their way out the door. McDonald's is thataway, podner...although, I don't even think McDonald's would want these guys.

Font Fairy-Some of you are still not reading your messages from the Font Fairy. This is cyberspace, folks! You can use a font bigger than a size two!

More later--I'm out of time! I spent all morning converting to the new Google format. Oy! I swear, the Internet Gods are playing with me...

Ya can't make a baker from hash browns...

Missin' Oklahoma, JMH, all rights reserved

02-05-07-
Spinach-So now the produce industry wants us to set up federal oversight to assure buyers that fresh produce is safe. How pesky of consumers to be unwilling to forget that spinach contaminated with E. coli bacteria killed three people and sickened nearly 200 last year!
Why don’t they just do their job? Grow healthy food. Why does our government have to bail out every sloppy businessman who screws up?
If this goes through, I want a government overseer in my office the next morning, to make sure that I am conducting my business with integrity.
C’mon! Those people knew they had a serious problem and they tried to cover it up…at the expense of innocent people. Now, it’s hurting them in their pocketbook, so they’re taking notice. I’d rather eat cake.

Presidential hopefuls-I’ve lost track of the Hopeless Hopefuls. Except for Biden. I remember him from last time. He’s definitely not an Idaho baker! He is small potatoes all the way. Heck. He’s beyond that—he’s hash browns.

Custer and His Naked Ladies-It’s finished and is in the permission stage at the moment. Ya’ll don’t miss it! It’s a winner!

Quote du Jour:
“I’ll never be strong like Popeye…my mom refuses to buy the spinach that comes in the can.” My organic gardener friend’s son at six.

Calling all Idaho Bakers!

Bear's Fish Camp, Alaska

© Janelle Meraz Hooper

01-23-07-Presidential hopefuls - Good grief! Where did all of you guys get your egos? Most of you have already risen higher in government than even God could have predicted. Go home! Shut up!

This guy, Brownback from Kansas, is the worst so far. He announced a few days ago that he and his family were going to “Follow the Yellow Brick Road to the White House.” And then, do what? Look for a brain?

These are serious times. We’ll be lucky if we make it through the next long, long months with Bush. We cannot afford to waste our time on a man who is Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

Brownback is not alone in his uselessness. Edwards, Kerry, Giuliani, Hunter, and Mc Cain (especially MC Cain)—go home! None of you will ever pass muster. You are small potatoes during a time when we need Idaho bakers.

Quote du jour:
"Do not ask the Lord to guide your footsteps if you're not willing to move your feet ." Unknown

Is Kia made in Germany?

The snow has stayed too long

photo by JMH

I'll try to post a picture later--everyone except that guy in the big White House must be on the Internet this morning (I don't think the Big W reads. Maybe we could show him some pictures).

01-17-07-The war: Is there anyone we haven’t attacked yet? Why is no one screaming? Afghanistan, Iraq, Somalia…Canada better look out!

On my TV-I must have been in a fog. My husband was the first to notice the background music to the new Kia ad. They’re playing So Long, Farewell, from The Sound of Music! Has Madison Avenue lost its creative brains? Has Kia lost its corporate mind? What’s up?! What’s next? BMW designing ads with the Flower Drum Song theme song in the background?

On Warrior (my computer)-Someone is confused about blessing of cyberspace. You see, guys, the page never ends. You can go on forever—for free—no stamps needed! So why is everyone from my editor to my HMO using such small fonts?! I’ve gotten email messages so small that I had to scan the messages, enlarge the font, and print them before I knew what they said. Knock it off!

My readers- I’m thinking of getting a world map so I can track where my readers come from. Some of them email me directly and come from countries like The Philippines, UK, Italy, Nigeria (Okay, that was one of those scam letters. Maybe it doesn't count), and Canada.

Quote du jour:
“Forbidden fruits create many jams.” Unknown

1-11-07 Northwest snow storm photos

All photos by Janelle Meraz Hooper, copyrighted 2007

1-11-07- I decided to post the photos that I took of our snow in the backyard, since you'll undoubtedly see the pictures of the overturned cars and uprooted trees on the news.

The photos were taken about eight o'clock this morning, and I may save them forever because I'm seldom up before the crows are, and there wasn't a bird in sight when I took these...although they may have been at the local eatery feeding on leftover waffles.

Quote du jour:

"Announced by all the trumpets of the sky, Arrives the snow."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

(Now don't ya'll email me about that capital A after the comma...that's the way old Ralph wanted it.)

The big Northwest storm

1-09-07 storm photos , the tree nextdoor after a high wind

1-09-07-So far, not much noise here from our big Northwest storm that we've been bracing for. I've heard there are about 30,000 people out of power though. They promise it'll get ugly tonight--just in time for the evening commute.

New Year's- I noticed this morning that I still have the rhinestone pin that's a big snowflake on my black purse that I put on every New Year's Eve. Here's the funny part: we never left the house! We may actually be becoming hermits, as we're just too darn comfortable at home.

Bush-Oh, dear! I hear he's about to send even more troops to Iraq. Our poor troops. Maybe the Democrats can pass a law that he can't send anyone else unless his daughters are at the top of the list.

On my TV-The decorating shows on HGTV. I am so hooked! Not only with the gorgeous, spendy decorating ideas, but their shows where they remake a room without spending any money. And they are funny too--although they don't realize it. I've actually heard them suggest that some homeowners get rid of their books to end clutter! Sometimes, they even go and buy different books just for their decorating value. I've often described my home as being decorated in Early Library, so I find this approach way past ludicrous! Get rid of a book? I'd sooner get rid of my secret chocolate stash!

On my bed table-New research on the Comanches. Actually, the research isn't new, but my Google skills have greatly improved.

Quote du jour:

Benjamin Martin: "I will not fight, and because I will not fight I will not cast a vote that will send others to fight in my stead." The Patriot, courtesy of the Quote Geek

(What a concept!)

You're out there!!!

Bud's New Year's date...

Sculpture by Joyce Stevens

1-06-07- Oh, my gosh!!! I just realized I have comments posted that I never noticed! I guess I just gave up on anyone actually reading this thing, and stopped checking! I've always liked hearing from my readers, and would never intentionally ignore them. If you have written, please forgive me--I'll start checking the messages today.

I should mention that there is no notification of messages, and readers who post on my notes years back will probably not be seen. Maybe you could email me directly.

Quote du jour:

"The one who tells the stories rules the world." (Hopi)

The Soul Would have No Rainbow If The Eyes had No Tears

Guy A. Zona

Big soup!

2006 Christmas tree...

1-6-06-I had to bail out before I finished my thoughts about too much salt in our childrens' diets at last post. You see, my husband cooks big. BIG. I heard a distress call from the kitchen because he couldn't find enough plastic lids for the containers to put the Spanish chicken soup I'd asked him to make for dinner. After we each had a big bowl, he put away 26 (!) cartons of soup. What did he boil the water in, our hot tub?! But it is delish; I have it so good around here. The freezer is always filled with homemade chili con carne, chicken noodle soup, spaghetti, etc. How perfect for a writer!

Anyway, I'm sure we'll have lots of guidance on this salt thing. We'd better. It's bad enough that we're messing up our own health.

Quote du jour:

"The more you do, the more you can do." Thomas Jefferson

At last! something we can fix!

01-01-06--Get ready, get set, go! I mean go to work, Congress—not go to work campaigning.
Speaking of campaigning, aren’t ya’ll sick of all these never-will-win-couldn’t –win-if-they-were-three-times-as-good-as-they-are candidates? Where do they get their egos? Go home! You’re not part of the solution, you are part of the problem!
Our kids—Now comes research that our children are getting too many kidney stones from the salt in processed foods. At last! Something we can fix! How many of you moms and dads can stay home and cook nutritious meals for your family?
I didn’t think so.
I can barely find time to feed myself. But this news could be a blessing in disguise. I’m not a nutritionist, but couldn’t we scale down on the complexity of our meals and save time as well as improve the diet of our children? I’m thinking more salads, soups and sandwiches on whole wheat bread (hold the processed meats please).

Happy New Year, ya’ll! Let’s make it a good one!

On my DVD—The Devil Wears Prada—What a shallow, dumb, been done over and over movie. BUT I would watch Meryl Strep play solitaire on film, and she had the best hairdo I’ve seen in a long time.

On my TV—Still Keith Olbermann on Countdown.

On my bed table—The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman—since it was almost banned by our local school district, I thought I should reread it.

Quote du jour:
“Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.”

unknown

Introducing Warrior!

Mt. Rainier

© 2006, Janelle Meraz Hooper


12-13-06- Ole Trigger that has been my computer for the last six years is in the process of being replaced by Warrior! a new, powerful machine complete with cameras and war whoops. During this changeover, that involves software, installing digital cameras, and microphones, this blog may be ignored.

Quote du jour:

"Literature is an occupation in which you have to keep proving your talent to people who have none." Jules Renard, courtesy of The Tacoma News Tribune