Get the jam out, Momma!

Oh, dear! Well, McCain is getting closer. During the debate last night he said he wanted to give us a $5800 tax credit so we can go out and buy our own healthcare. That's $800 more than he offered us last time. Still, though, it's a long way from the $1200 or more most of us pay.

And did I hear him belittle "health reasons" for granting women's abortions? He said something like, "That can mean anything." But get the transcript and read it yourself. I'm afraid I'll barf on my keyboard.

I think it was a slip when he said he was sure any Supreme Court justice candidate who was qualified would not be in favor of Roe Vs. Wade. Again, check it out yourself. I am not a journalist. I just hear things.

I'm betting he's sorry he ever asked about Ayers. Never ask a question you don't already know the answer to...

Get out the jam, Momma. The man is toast!

This was the last debate, but if you haven't had enough, the complete transcripts can be found on http://www.mydebates.com/

If you are ready for a political break, read chapters from my books on:

www.JanelleMerazHooper.com

In October, I've also posted two humorous Halloween fillers on the homepage.

Alaska has more people than Delaware? NOT!

©2007 Joyce Stevens, Pumpkin art

Chris Matthews (MSNBC Hardball)- I had the hairdryer on yesterday, so I didn't catch the name of the Lying-Republican-of-the-Day, but when Chris asked him if he thought Palin was ready to be vice-president, he said, "Yes! She's been a governor of Alaska for two years (I'm paraphrasing here) and Alaska isn't Delaware, you know, it's a big state!"
Well, according to my Google, Delaware has a population of 783,600 and Alaska has a population of 626, 932. It's not a big lie, but it rankles me that they think they can say anything and we'll swallow it. Or maybe, they're playing with us. Alaska does have more square miles--do they want us to think Mountains vote?

But what really matters is that the Republican Party is not the party I grew up with. It is now mean, nasty, greedy, war-loving, and eaten up by the fungus of the extreme religious right. Under Bush, they have trampled our Constitution and Bill of Rights, and they are expanding presidential powers at an alarming speed. I repeat what I've said before (quoting Reagan), "Freedom is just one generation away from extinction."
That's the real danger in this election. McCain doesn't want to talk about it, though. because telling the truth didn't serve him well, and he has learned his lesson.

I'm glad this is the last debate. I don't think I can take much more of the Loose Goose.

Quote dujour:
"The Democrats just want my money, but the Republicans want my money and soul."
email contributor

Read chapters of my books & Halloween fillers:

www.JanelleMerazHooper.com

Obama can!

Obama Gets it done!

Well, the members of McCain's campaign are whining that they can't control what their crowd shouts out during McCain's and Palin's speeches. That's just poor leadership!

Obama showed them how yesterday when, during one of his speeches, someone called out something inappropriate. Quickly, Obama said, "We don't need that." And the crowd quieted down. Immediately. Then he said, "What we need to do is vote." (Cheers!) That's how it's done, if you're really a leader.

I made a graphic for this morning, but my Google software wouldn't post it. I'll try again later. I guess everyone is blogging for Obama today!

I write books too! Read sample chapters here:

http://www.janellemerazhooper.com/

Short, Halloween fillers on my homepage in October

Wanda the Witch Hits Wall Street

Wanda Hits Wall Street
Janelle Meraz Hooper

Wanda was hot under her witch hat. It was bad enough that the crooks on Wall Street had stolen her retirement account, but their greedy screw-up was going to cause a case of trickled down economics at its worst. Parents everywhere announced they were going to have to cinch in their belts, and the first thing to go was the trick-or-treat candy. Well, Wanda didn’t blame them. She’d just been turned down on a loan for one of those new, hybrid brooms. It was Wall Street she had it in for, and she developed a two-part plan to get even.

The first part was easy. She provided Halloween candy for all of the world’s children, even in countries where Halloween wasn’t celebrated. She figured even if they didn’t celebrate Halloween, they would know how to celebrate a pocketful of candy. She paid for the candy with the petty cash the stockbrokers had hidden in secret bank accounts. That done, it was time to move to part two of her plan.

Right at midnight, Wanda flew into Wall Street with her fat cats and instructed them to leave deposits everywhere. On the carpets, on the desks, and in the fancy espresso coffeepots. Then, when the cats were done, with a wave of her wand, Wanda multiplied the deposits by 34.5%. That was the exact percentage the investors were charging for home and small business loans. Their golden parachutes she turned into fool’s gold, their retirement packages vanished into the crisp October air. Their trophy wives began to look like their first wives. As a final touch, the Halloween candy on their desks was exchanged for a special blend that gave the investors a permanent case of the green cherry quickstep. Then, on the way out the door, she waved her wand and permanently sealed the doors to their executive bathrooms.

Ah, it was a good night’s work. But it was over too soon. Wanda moved onto Washington, D.C.

Happy Halloween, Everyone! Oh, if it were only so!

I write other, serious stuff, too. Books, even. Read samples on my website:

www.JanelleMerazHooper.com

We're first in line!

And beyond! courtesy of Buzz Lightyear.

Moose and Goose are still at it. I'm wondering if I'll make it through another debate with the Great Snow Goose lying through his "patriotic" feathers.
During the last debate, I was yelling at the TV screen: "You dummie! You can't get health coverage for a family for $5,000 a year." How out of touch can he be? And THAT was before I learned he was going to tax that $5,000 before we ever got it. Have mercy. When he says Country First, he means we're first in line to get screwed.

By the way, has anyone seen Hill and Bill?

When this is all over, I'll be glad to get back to my regular blog. Remember when we used to talk about books? TV? DVDs?

www.JanelleMerazHooper.com

read sample chapters of my books on my website:

A Three-Turtle Summer

As Brown As I Want: The Indianhead Diaries

Custer and His Naked Ladies

Free Pecan Pie and Other Chick Stories (mixed genre)

coming in 2009: Bears in Hibiscus

Moose and Goose, 15 minutes of shame

Moose and Goose-I am literally sick of these two. I'm so glad their 15 minutes of shame are about up. I'm even starting to look at Cindy with new eyes. What's with her? How can she stand behind McCain and smile while he's lying? Does she want to be first lady that bad? Does she love power more than her country?
And what about all this Country First stuff?
Is lying putting our country first?

Is hiding his cancer with makeup, hoping we won't notice putting our country first? That cancer isn't that far from his brain, you know. I'm not being mean. We have to talk about this. It's time to get real. The welfare of our country is at stake.

Was saying he was going to Washington to fix the economy, then doing nothing once he got there putting our country first?

One of the last insults, when he said he was turning the page on the economy, was just too much. He doesn't care about us. He doesn't care about this country. He just cares about himself. SHAME!

Watch the debate tonight!

A rattlesnake that winks

The 2008 VP Debates--Don't be fooled by the folksy, jovial woman you saw on TV last night who seemed to be continually searching for something in her mouth (her gum?). Listen to what she said: "I'm thankful that the Constitution would allow a bit more authority given to the vice president if that vice president so chose to exert it in working with the Senate and making sure that we are supportive of the president's policies..."
Sarah Palin has not yet been elected, and she is already looking for ways to increase her power. Be afraid, John McCain, be very afraid. Just because a rattlesnake winks doesn't mean it won't bite.

Quote du jour:
" Freedom is just one generation away from extinction." Ronald Reagan

McCain's chunky butt

McCain, get your little chunky butt

on that debate stage tomorrow night.

There is no free ride to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

Get off my TV!

© Janelle Meraz Hooper, 2007

Wall Street crisis—So, how does it feel to owe at least $7,000 more than you did last week? That’s just an estimate. If you’ve ever gotten an estimate for car and home repairs, you know how far off an estimate can be. I say, throw them all out, the Republicans and Democrats. Then what? I don’t know…ask Sarah Palin. She knows it all.

My computer printout says we‘re short about 2676.4 trillion. The two biggest debts are owed to Japan and China. I got an email that explained it this way: China has one of our balls in its hand, and Japan has the other.

What do you think we can say now about lead in our toys from China? Toxins in our food? What if they get mad and call the debts? What then? We are no longer in a position of power.

On my TV:
An ad for Morgan Stanley. Below their banner, it said: World Wise. Yeah. Right. Get off my TV.

On NPR radio: “This is a disaster. It may be manmade. But it’s a disaster nonetheless.” Unknown caller

Quote du jour:

“No one can earn a million dollars honestly. “ William Jennings Bryan

Custer and His Naked Ladies
Have ya read it yet? Read sample chapters of all my books on:
www.JanelleMerazHooper.com

Taking a bite out of Republican tootles

© Janelle Meraz Hooper, 2008

Now that's what I'm talkin' about! Obama and Biden are finally taking bites out of the Republicans' tootles. At last! I hope they keep it up!

You may be wondering why a Hispanic/Anglo has a Buddha on her woodstove. The connection is the children crawling all over Buddha. And the beautiful execution of a ceramic that may be a Chinese version of tourist tradeware, but it is a joy to look at. I have a growing collection of ceramic people from all nations. Native Americans have a version they call "The Storyteller"; the little doll has children crawling all over her. She's next on my list.

Quote du jour:

"Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them." Lily Tomlin

Have ya read it yet?

Custer and His Naked Ladies

http://www.janellemerazhooper.com/

Alaska's Snow Dummy

©Janelle Meraz Hooper, Alaskan fishing floats

The Republicans--they do it to us every time, and every time it works. How dumb can we be? For how long? By inserting Palin, they have moved the focus from their bad candidate and their unacceptible doctrine to their Alaskan Snow Dummy. And we have allowed it.

We must force the focus back onto the issues: the war, the economy, healthcare, abortion rights, education, and the rest.

Forget Sarah Palin. Don't get sucked in by the Republicans and Rove again.

Quote du jour:
“The biggest lie you have been told is that you have no power to change the world, but the biggest secret is why, when you realise this, you don’t get up off your backside and do something about it.” David Southwell, Secrets and Lies (David is British)

www.JanelleMerazHooper.com

Sarah don't know her Mac from a Big Mac

Dick and I in Alaska

Dick and I spent time in Alaska--We loved it there.

Sarah Palin has to make herself available to the press. We have a right to know what she believes in. The fact that the Republicans are protecting her so much really worries me. Just how dumb is she? Say, on a scale of one to ten?

Quote du jour:

"Just how many times do you have to be hit over the head before you figure out who's hitting you?" Harry S. Truman, courtesy of Keith Olbermann

www.JanelleMerazHooper.com

You can't win an occupation

fantasy cover

Don't look for this cover in bookstores. It was just me and a digital camera fooling around. I still like it, though. The actual cover of my new novel was done by a professional...that's why they get the big bucks.

Sign from the Republican Convention--This got lost in my notes:

You can't win an occupation- Think about it...

The only quote of John McCain's that wasn't same-o, same-o:

"Education is the civil rights issue of this century."

Overheard conversation: It's no trick to balance the budget in Alaska when oil is $140.00 a barrel."

Quote du jour:

"Politics, it seems to me, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong." Richard Armour (courtesy of Brainyquote.com)

http://www.janellemerazhooper.com/

I'm done with the GOP

Janelle with a good read

Now that both political conventions are over, life can return to a more near normal pace. I like to listen to everyone, and I found this year's Republican Convention entertaining. However, in the end, it all sifted down to the same old crap.

Change? What change? They just offered more of the same:

More war,

More division

More backwards, redneck philosophy against sex education

More lies

And I am sick of hearing about McCain's POW experience. Shame on him. I would expect him of all people to stand up and protest the treatment of the POWs we're holding in Gitmo, and in the other torture camps we fly prisoners around to all over the world where there are no laws against torture. What have you done for our nation, lately, John? whatever it is, please stop! I don't trust your judgement.

But I'm wasting our time. Truth is, I will never, never. vote for the GOP again. I was done, even before he let it slip that he was in favor of the draft.

I was done--even before we invaded a sovereign nation.

I was done--even before Bush refused to talk to our enemy, preferring intimidation to reason.

I was done--even before the GOP employed scare tactics to win elections.

Oh, I could go on and on. But why bother? Let's cut to the chase: There are 12-year-olds in my neighborhood who will be old enough for McCain's draft in a few years. There's not one of them I'm willing to sacrifice for the arrogance and glory of the GOP. Not one. It is my wish that if John McCain goes to that cave in Afghanistan, looking for Bin Laden, he'll go there alone...and that he'll be carrying a sleeping bag.

Quote du jour:

"He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." Sir Winston Churchill

Drain the swamp!

My canna

My Aunt Vera had cannas around her home, so I planted some in her memory this spring. Aunt Vera is in most of my books. She was a real character! I have been noticing bats around the house for the first time, and I'm wondering if it's the cannas that are attracting them...eeek! Bats and I have an unfriendly history.

The Republican Convention--Sarah Palin did rock the house, eh?

What else I liked:

The idea of going to Washington to drain the swamp. This could be done by either party, just do it!

Giuliani's speech

What I didn't like:

The chanting. It hits me as primitive, and frightening. John Adams said, "A mob is no less a mob just because it's with you."

The suggestion that Al Gore should park his private plane. And do what, ride with us? In this age of terrorism, no way do I want to be on a plane with a high profile politician.

Quote du jour:

"Michelle Obama for First Lady!"

Sarah Palin--a case of bad timing

Dragonfly in Oregon, © Dick Hooper, 2008

Sarah Palin- It's all politics in this country. Right now, I'm hanging around waiting for what Sarah Palin has to say. I've been getting emails calling me sexist because I've mentioned her running when she has children. Obama has kids, too, they say. Should he not be running?

What's wrong with you people? Do you not see the difference between a man with school age children and a woman who has a five-month-old baby with down syndrome? She is need much more at home than she is in Washington. That baby needs her.

Still waiting to see what she has to say. Maybe she'll convince me we really can't live without her. I've heard on MSNBC that she is not even giving her own speech. It's a speech written for an unknown man that's being "feminized" for her--with her own added touches, I presume. Good grief.

Republicans--lies, lies, lies. I am so sick of it.

MSNBC news--I've noticed them slanting the news toward the Democrats, and I am disappointed. I can't give you a list, I haven't got that kind of time.

Hate email--some of you people need to get a life. I got an email photo of Palin that was real, I think, but offensive all the same. I did not use it here. I forwarded it to only one Republican email friend. They were not amused. The truth hurts, I guess, but I don't even want the photo on my site. Of course, if she makes me mad tonight, maybe I will post it!

No time to edit.

Quote du jour:

"The people of the world have always been more impressed with the power of our example than the example of our power." President Bill Clinton, 2008 National Democratic Convention

Playing catch-up

The Oklahoman,

Our summer has been lousy here. Bad weather. Too much work. Too much politics. Not enough Olympics.

Bears in Hibiscus-Maybe I'm on the third rewrite. I've kind of lost track. But it's going well.

My Custer and His Naked Ladies was reviewed in The Oklahoman:

http://newsok.com/entertainment/books/

On my TV- The Melagro Bean Field. I saw it for the first time two days ago.If you haven't seen it yet, get it.

On my bed table-All of the Elizabeth Lowell's romance books with pearls, amber, jade, or rubys in the title. I think Midnight in Ruby Bayou is the best, although the one about the Pearl Cove is probably the steamiest. Whoa! I need a do-over! I missed a lot when I was young!

Also,The Yiddish Policemen's Union by Michael Chabon. I'm just getting into it, but it looks promising.

There was one more that I won't mention by name because I think it was so poorly written, and I don't feel mean today. Can you sleep your way to the top in publishing? I think so...

A lot of my reading is in the research category, so I won't list those. I have a habit of reading books on anthropology for weeks and then end up actually using only a few lines. It's just one of the perks of being an independent writer (wink, wink).

The Olympics- I worry too much. After what our president and his sidekick Cheney have done to the world, I was really fearful that the Olympic audience might break tradition and boo us. It was a great relief when they didn't. Thank you, world. We'll do better next time.

And the sight of Putin--who had just invaded Georgia--and Bush sitting so close together cried out for a big water balloon. If I'd had my druthers, Bush would have already been wet for the gaul he showed when he lectured China on human rights. Talk about nerve. I'll be so glad when he goes back to Texas.

I'm not an Olympic enthusiast for the medals. I'm into it for the pure joy of seeing our youth (mostly) get together in one place without guns. Wasn't it John Paul Sarte who said, " When the rich start wars, the poor die?" I can never get enough of those young faces, gleaming with pride and sweat. Those bodies, strong and able, and those eyes, bright with the joy of competition.

I missed the competition I would have liked to have seen the most. I have looked all over the Internet for the film of the Mongolian wrestler who won his country's first gold medal. How exciting!

Kindle- I'm seriously taken with Amazon's Kindle, and hope to start putting my books on there within the month. Before I heard of this magical machine, I was dead set against a book that wasn't a real book. Made from real paper, with a real cover. But lately, due to the rush I've been in to get information, I've discovered eBooks. The fact that I think they're really, truly awful has been outweighed by speed. SPEED. As in having the information I need in munutes, if not seconds. It's addictive, and I think there's a Kindle in my future, if I can ever afford the sticker price (at last check, it was $359.00 on sale).

Note: while I'm on eBooks, they are not just for nonfiction. The next time you're short of something to read, check out Jim Muri's eBook site: http://blizzardguy.com/venture/index.html Jim tells a great story. I loved Blue Water Blues and Growing Milo.

No time to edit! I know my font button is jammed...

Quote du jour:

"Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities." Voltaire

Our Senate has betrayed us

Elfi Hornby and I (I'm on the left) at the Steilacoom 4th of July Street Fair, 2008.

Elfi (a fellow author) and I like to go out and meet our readers, and eat some hot dogs and ice cream at the Steilacoom Street Fair on the 4th. It's a beautiful historic town right on the water, and it's our favorite way to spend the holiday. In between the fair and the fireworks they have a charming, old-fashioned parade with marching bands, kids, and old cars, sprinkled with military men who get lots of cheers from the crowd. Our military men are the best. It's just our government that is so screwed up.

Yesterday, our Senate voted for the FISA (Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act), that takes away more of our constitutional freedoms. My little old aunt better watch her mouth when she's on the phone now. It's very sad, and our sorry president has taken away the joy in doing a blog.

Well, like the traffic cop says, "Let's move on..."

Lately, I think my brain that has been frazzled by politics and tortured by the dangerous precedents our government is setting has struggled to stay sane (move on!). I have thrown myself into my new novel (Bears in Hibiscus), increased my recording schedule for Free Pecan Pie and Other Chick Stories, and have taken a film-making class online so that I can more easily promote my books.

My Custer and His Naked Ladies book was reviewed by The Oklahoman (the state's largest and best newspaper) http://newsok.com/entertainment/books/

Are you bored to tears yet? If some of my European readers see this rant on our politics, they'll wonder what on earth I'm talking about. Ignorance is bliss. Trust me.

Have a great summer, ya'll. Hopefully, on the next 4th we'll have a better president who will have more sense and integrity than this one. If we do, I plan to party hearty.

Quote du jour:

"Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there." Will Rogers

Michelle Obama

Michelle for First Lady!

Ohhhhhh, Hillary!

2008

Ohhhhhhhh, Hillary! You're not ready for prime time. You never, never, touch the third rail. Go home!

Mr. Sadman

Rudy Ramos on set for Mr. Sadman

http://mrsadman.com/trailer.html

http://myspace.com/mrsadman

The above photo is of my cousin, Rudy Ramos, and the links are to a trailer to his new movie, Mr. Sadman. Check it out!

Politics- I've been so disgusted by Hillary Clinton's lies that I've thrown myself into my new book, Bears in Hibiscus, a humorous romance about a Montana Park Ranger who falls in love with his ex-sister-in-law on a beach in Hawaii. I've spent so many hours avoiding the reality of the state of politics in this country that I'm already into rewrites. This may be the fastest book I've ever written. Thanks, Hillary (I don't mean it, I'm just being polite).

A friend saw a post I made to The New Haven Advocate in Connecticut about Bill and Hillary being Tater Tots when what this country needs is Idaho Bakers. It was a version of a post I'd made on this site referring to all of the candidates (except Obama). The comment was longer, but they went for the humor and just printed the last line. That was fine, but my friends, not accustomed to editing, were surprised because they were used to me being a lot more long-winded.

But let's not talk about politics, the subject is really beginning to sicken me.

On my TV-I hope you all got a chance to watch HBO's special (8 parts?) about John Adams. It was excellent. Also: the debates (cringe) and baseball (another cringe, if you're a Mariner fan, as I am).

On my bed table-I've been reading Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen, a wonderfully written book that is set at a circus (so far). Unfortunately, I've discovered I'm really not into circus people, or their history. But that's just me. I think you'd love it. Since I last posted, I've read The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency by Alexander McCall Smith (loved it), and Dirty Martini by J. A. Konrath (a great summer read). I've also been re-reading a couple of the classics to refresh my memory. Did you know that the rabbit in Alice in Wonderland (E. B. White) never actually said, "I'm late, I'm late for a very important date"? While we're on the subject, Scarlett's maid* (Gone With the Wind) never said, "I doan know nothin' about birthin' no babies, Miz Scarlett," ? What she said was, "I doan know nothun' about bringin' no babies, Miz Scarlett." Thank you, Hollywood. I don't have the books here to check details, but you get the idea. *I can't remember her name and can't reach the book to check it.

Custer and His Naked Ladies-It's making the rounds. Have ya read it yet? Read sample chapters of all of my books: http://www.janellemerazhooper.com/

Author's green project-I'm thinking of making one of my new novels into an eBook that would be marketed on my www.JanelleMerazHooper.com site. All of my books are in print format and in eBook, but this one would never go to print. It would be sort of a valentine to Planet Earth. I'm researching it...

quote du jour-

"You can't see the window from under your bed." (song, Ryan Adams, The Cardinals)

Need Manuscript Makeover?

http://www.manuscriptmakeover.com/

My friend, Elizabeth Lyon's new book on doing a manuscript makeover is out. Elizabeth helped me with my first novel, A Three-Turtle Summer. Working with Elizabeth is like taking a four-year course in fiction writing from an ivy-league school. If you're a writer, and Elizabeth doesn't live next door to you, get this book and devour it. I did. Oh, and she has other wonderful books on nonfiction writing, book proposals, and marketing.

Still no word from Tom Hanks. I told David Southwell, an author from the United Kingdom, that I joined Facebook so Tom would discover my stories. I figure I'm a You've Got Mail kind of writer.

Many writers nowadays would be delighted if their books jumped straight from keyboard to film. A lot of us feel that there is more talking about books than the actual reading of them going on. After all, we're storytellers. We began telling stories around a smokey fire in a cave somewhere, so why should we resist the new technology? I'd never want to see books go away entirely, but there's something very appealing about the medium of film.

I have some readers who are just now reading my second novel, As Brown As I Want: The Indianhead Diaries. That's more than partly my fault because the book was mis-labled. The catalog says it is fiction, but it is really a (hilarious) fictional autobiography. This is the kind of mistake that happens when an author moonlights as her own agent.

Custer thank yous:
Tantara Records (http://www.tantararecords.com/, email:info@tantararecords.com ) for permission to use the lyrics to Go My Son. They have a beautiful website with music to suit every taste (well, I haven't seen any headbanger music there, but they have everything else.).
The Comanche Nation (http://www.comanchenation.com/ ) for their help with the Comanche language.

Quote du jour:

"A mob is no less a mob just because it's with you." John Adams, John Adams, HBO special production

The pressure is on

Statues in Fremont, Washington, 2007

The townspeople have a lot of fun with the statues in Fremont. Their attire changes with the mood and the season. I love the town of Fremont. It's full of creative people; ya'll go visit.

Years ago, during an illness, I learned to appreciate the small things I could have (chocolate, popcorn, friends, books), as opposed to the big things (bigger houses, cars, and bank accounts) that everyone else in this country seemed to be clamoring for. I understand this urge to have everything super-sized because most everyone in this country is working so hard they are ruining their health. Might as well die happy. To an outsider, it may seem like an easy fix. Just work less. I wish it were so, but for every person working himself to death in this country there are at least a few hundred standing in line behind him, willing to work the same hours for less. The pressure is on. I have no where to go with this, but I just remembered a French woman in a news interview criticizing Americans for working so hard. I wish I could transport her to this country for a while. She'd soon learn that this is the land of milk and honey, but it comes at a very high price, and she might find herself with the choice of being over-employed or unemployed*. It's a tough balance. *Please don't email me about this run-on sentence. I'm still on my first cup of coffee.

David Southwell- At last, a blog post from fellow writer David Southwell. I was beginning to fear the Londoner had been trampled by a kangaroo on his recent book promotion trip to Australia. I'm gathering the trip was not without peril, but I'm so relieved to hear he survived. I'm a lousy traveler, so I empathize with his experience.

Custer and His Naked Ladies- Have ya read it yet? It would make a great beach read.

Go My Son-for those who have asked, the song really does exist, and information on it can be found from: email: info@TantaraRecords.com or www.TantaraRecords.com

I'm glad my readers are enjoying the Comanche words I've added. I handpicked words I thought you'd have a use for in your daily life. More info can be found at: www.ComancheNation.com

Quote du jour:

"It has been a bad year. The next one will be even worse." The Raisuli (Sean Connery) in The Wind and the Lion. I thought this was a good quote for an election year.

Anti-French redneck hate mail

©JMH, cross country skiing, Alaska

I had another picture to post from when we lived in Alaska, but my photo files are being reorganized and I misplaced it. A lot of my short stories in Free Pecan Pie and Other Chick Stories were inspired by our time in Alaska. It's a kind of frozen Africa to me--animals everywhere! My husband and I used to travel a lot and we enjoyed it immensely...well, maybe that trip he took to Viet Nam wasn't so much fun. although he has never complained.

On my CD player- Rod Stewart's If We Fall In Love Tonight. It's old, but still one of my favorites.

On my TV- The History Channel. Their shows on UFOs are so bad it should be called The Lying Channel. But still I watch because a future book I've got planned has UFOs in it.

Email- I got one of those African scam letters. It said I'd won a lottery sponsored by Yahoo! and Microsoft and that I had won over $300,000 dollars...unfortunately, the money had been sent to Africa. There would be a fee to get it back. I've had a lot of fun with it, telling my family that I'd pay for dinner, but unfortunately, all of my money has been sent to Africa.

I also got one of those anti-French redneck hate mails. These guys need a history lesson. It was the French who saved our patooties in our war against the British during our War of Independence. Without them, there would have been no United States of America. When we went to help the French fight the Germans in World War I, General Persching visited the gravesite of Layfayette and said, "Lafayette, we are here!" It was a debt we were honored to repay.

Allow me to add that the last thing we need in this world is more division. So, Yanks, drink that French wine, eat those French fries, heat up that brie, and warm up the French bread.

Now, all of this doesn't mean I have any grudge against the English. How could I dislike a nation that has sent us such wonderful music, like The Beatles, Rod Stewart, Elton John, and more? It may seem strange that a writer is applauding English music instead of English authors, but I am a poet at heart, and some of the most beautiful lines in the world's languages have been put to music.

Custer and His Naked Ladies-I'm about out of books and shipping envelopes, and my office feels bigger. I really hate the clutter of stacks of books, packing supplies. I said I hate the clutter--not the books! There's four of them now, and another well on the way.

This last book reminds me of that song I Did It My Way. Being a small niche, pod writer does have its perks. There was no one to stop me from writing the story the way I thought it should be written. It's full of Comanche words, a few Spanish phrases, and a Navaho song. A traditional publisher would have never allowed so much material that was so specific to location. To them, a book set in Southwest Oklahoma would never sell as many books as a book with wider appeal (read: New York City--publishers love books about New York City--it's in their comfort zone). Of course, having said that, I'm reminded of exceptions to the rule, like Barbara Kingsolver. But anyway, my point about doing the book my way still stands. An author who can be true to her story is truly blessed. Maybe not with money, though!

Custer thank yous:

Tantara Records (http://www.tantararecords.com/, email:info@tantararecords.com ) for permission to use the lyrics to Go My Son. They have a beautiful website with music to suit every taste (well, I haven't seen any headbanger music there).

The Comanche Nation (http://www.comanchenation.com/ ) for their help with the Comanche language.

I'd better get to work so I can watch the primary results in a few hours. Ya'll vote! It's never been so important.

Quote du jour:

"He that lives upon hope will die fasting." Benjamin Franklin (VOTE!)

No time to edit, it's primary day! JMH

Custer and the Fremont Troll

© 2008 Janelle Meraz Hooper, The Fremont Troll under the Aurora Bridge

Out and about- Recently, I took Custer to visit the Fremont Troll that lives under the Aurora Bridge in Fremont, Washington. Fremont is north of Seattle and has a huge pocket of creative people who have moved there to avoid all the suits in Seattle. It's a great place to spend the day!

Today, I'm just hanging around, waiting for the last Democratic Presidential Debate. To keep busy, I'm packing books and getting them ready to mail. I'm too distracted to work on my newest novel. Maybe I could at least figure out a title.

At the same time, I've been thinkin': Why is it our new presidents go in looking like Matthew McConaughey and come out four years later looking like Yoda? The job gets tougher every year. I've mentioned this before and have been told that no president would give up any of his power to a vice-president. It's just too politically dangerous. But maybe its time we made better and more use of the vice-president. Of course, none of this applies to Cheney. The less of him, the better (I don't mean it, I'm just kidding around). Seriously, with the mess the new president is going to be stuck with, maybe they should give double-teaming some thought.

Custer and His Naked Ladies- It's doing well. There are several links to order your copy from the publisher or Internet book sites on my http://www.janellemerazhooper.com/ website. You can also read sample chapters of my novels there. I'm grateful for the support I've had in the research and permissions departments that have made Custer and His Naked Ladies so special to me:

Tantara Records (http://www.tantararecords.com/ ; email: info@TantaraRecords.com ) for permission to use the beautiful song, Go My Son.

The Comanche Nation (http://www.comanchenation.com/ ) for their help with the Comanche Language.

The Terrapin Institute (http://www.terrapininstitute.org/ ), for information on turtles.

Quote du jour:

"An artist is never poor." Babette's Feast

Valentine's Day is not over yet!

© 2008 Janelle Meraz Hooper

I need an excuse for ignoring this blog since Valentine's Day, so I'm going to say Valentine's isn't over until the flowers are wilted and the chocolates are all gone (that should be sometime tonight, even though I received two boxes this year).

On my TV-Those ads! 50 may be the new 60, but 65 is the new 50 only if you've had several nips and tucks, 2 or 3 facelifts, expensive dental work, and several husbands that you've divorced and managed to get huge divorce settlements out of. At least that's the way it is in this country, where most of us work 60 hours a week to keep up with other people's expectations of us. And I'm still puzzling over that Cialis ad that has a couple in two separate tubs drinking wine, gazing at the sunset, and waiting for the magic to start. But I don't mind the ads, they pay for the shows I watch.

On my bed table-Sustenance of Courage-JR Reynold's fictional/historical tale of her family's trip in a covered wagon in a wagon train on the Oregon Trail. It's all in there: the cholera; the deaths from ill health, childbirth; starvation; the Indians; the commode bucket; the sour beans; the treacherous river crossings; and on and on. When I'd finished it. I felt I had been on the wagon with them. By the way, have you ever thought about how couples got their sex? Read the book to find out!

On my TV- Politics. On any channel but Fox. Ya'll vote, ya hear?

Custer and His Naked Ladies:

See my http://www.janellemerazhooper.com/ website for sample chapters.

Thank you to the following for their support:

Info on the beautiful Navajo song in Custer and His Naked Ladies.
Tantara Records
Or email them: info@TantaraRecords.com

For help with the Comanche language: http://www.comanchenation.com/

The Terripin Institute, one of the organizations working to save our turtles:

http://www.terrapininstitute.org/

Quote du jour:

"The odds are good," (on finding a man in Alaska), "but the goods are odd." Overheard at a dinner party recently.

Valentine's Day Book!

Order Today! www.JanelleMerazHooper.com

I found the Valentine card last night in my childhood scrapbook. My mother saved everything--even the little cards that came on the gifts for my baby shower.

I know she would cringe at the photo in my last post because she was very sick and her hair wasn't done--I'll have to make it up to her by posting some better ones. The picture I posted was the only one I had that showed the missing jewelry.

Tantara Records (http://www.tantararecords.com/ ) has the rights to Go My Son, the beautiful Navajo song in Custer and His Naked Ladies. I first heard it years ago at a Kiowa powwow. To buy the sheet music, contact them at info@TantaraRecords.com

Quote du jour:

“I’ve lived at the end of what used to be a great country.” Merle Haggard in Esquire Magazine, courtesy of Bill Mahrer.

Surprise, a romance!

My mother at a Kiowa powwow, about 1984

Check out the jewelry! I have no idea what happened to my mother's turquoise jewelry collection. She had Comanche and Navajo pieces. I know she looks like a Comanche, but actually, she was Hispanic. We just loved the powwows. I think it was because the only part of our culture that we kept was our rosary and our tortillas, so we latched onto the Indian customs of our friends. You know, of course, that the Oklahoma Territories became the end of the Trail of Tears. The state is steeped in the culture of many Indian Nations, almost too many to count. That was why I added so many Comanche words to my novel. To leave the Comanche words out would be like having a teapot with no tea--just water.

This was the powwow where I first heard the beautiful Navajo song, Go My Son, that I wrote about in Custer and His Naked Ladies. Sheet music for the song can be purchased from Tantara Records (http://www.tantararecords.com/). Their email is info@tantaraRecords.com

Custer and His Naked Ladies-Is doing well. You can read sample chapters of all of my books before you buy on my main website: http://www.janellemerazhooper.com/ or order from my publisher at http://www.iuniverse.com/ I still can't believe I wrote a romance. My publisher calls it literary, but all of my emails call it a romance. Go figure. No one was more surprised than I ("Think Valentine's Day!" she quickly said upon hearing the news...")

Facebook- STILL no friends on Facebook. Maybe I should get out more...

Quote du jour: "To whom much is given, much is expected." Hillary Rodham Clinton (No, I am not a Hillary supporter, but it is almost election time...)

Happy Birthday, Elvis!

Happy Birthday, Elvis!

The sign above was in our movie theatre's window in Lawton, Oklahoma when I was a kid. A friend worked there as a ticket taker, and she got it for me. I treasured it for years, and it's got a permanent home in my scrapbook.

As a tribute to Elvis, I'm posting a short story from my Free Pecan Pie and Other Chick Stories book. The story has been posted all over the Internet, and was even read once on an Irish radio station (with my permission):

Elvis Has Left the Building–And Is Living In My Computer
by Janelle Meraz Hooper

Elvis is still alive. I know it. I have proof. And I don’t mean the kind of proof where some guy who’s had too much beer stops at a local filling station and sees Elvis filling up his Eldorado with regular gas. What a joke. Everyone knows that Elvis uses super.
And I don’t mean like that guy outside of the basketball arena waving a sign that says, “Elvis parks here.” Everyone knows that Elvis is way too cool for basketball.
No, I’m talking about tangible down to earth evidence that the King of Rock n’ Roll is alive and well—and living in my computer.
Yep. That’s what I said. Right here in my outdated computer that I call Ole Trigger because it doesn’t have enough guts to boot up all of my fancy printers and scanners on the same day, much less at the same time.
Whenever I want to do anything more complicated than word-processing, I have to delete the non-color printer and drivers, load the color printer, print, and let Ole Trigger rest for a day or so. Then I can load the color scanner, do my scanning, delete the color printer and scanner from my hard drive, re-load the black and white printer and its drivers, and let Trigger rest again for a couple of days until it feels up to fetching my E-mails. Sometimes, if my preacher cousin sends me a long message, it just gets all tuckered out and has to be rebooted. I keep a special pair of cowboy boots next to my PC just for this purpose.
As far as I can tell, Elvis moved into my computer a few days before the Fourth of July. That’s when I sent a color poster of The King to my editor, who’s an Elvis fan, wishing her Happy Fourth! It was a photo that showed Elvis in all his glory: gold metallic suit, slick pompadour hair, and white buck shoes.
Of course he had that special look of his on his face, like he’d just jammed a guitar pick up his nose and was wondering if he wanted to get it out or just leave it there because it felt good. It was pure, vintage Elvis, and I blew it up full size before I sent it to her via e-mail. I should have known something had gone wrong when she said she never got it—that was because he never left.
He took up 486 bits or bytes or whatever that stuff is called, but he was kind of cool, so I didn’t delete him right away as I should have. A few days later, I began to find strange messages on my computer when I brought up my screen in the morning. Messages like, “Warning! Your memory system is running dangerously low. Norton antivirus system may not be working correctly.” Oh, happy 99! Oh, Melissa!
I went into Trigger’s guts and started deleting everything that wouldn’t make me stop breathing if I didn’t have it. I even deleted—augh!—Elvis, but the messages kept coming: “Warning, warning! Danger! Danger!”
The next time I used my graphics software, I noticed that Elvis was still on the menu. I deleted him. He came back. I deleted him again. He came back again. By that time, his lips were starting to move, and his suit was beginning to shimmer. I don’t know why he doesn’t leave, except that maybe he’s finally found someplace to hide out where people have to leave him alone—sort of like having that hotel he sings about all to himself.
For myself, I’ve given up and just deleted Norton. I know when I’m beat. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I wake up and hear the lonesome sound of Elvis humming and strumming a guitar in my computer.
Sure beats anything I ever heard from Norton.

Read more about my Free Pecan Pie and Other Chick Stories book and others on my main website:

www.JanelleMerazHooper.com

While you're there, check out the sample chapters on my new novel, Custer and His Naked Ladies...

Janny joins Facebook

Janelle , 2005

Facebook- so my writer friends said I should join Facebook, and it's been trouble from the getgo. The first thing you do is add a photo. I assumed it should be one of me, and that was where the trouble began. I have about four photos of me, and all of them look just like me. That's a problem. Each one has their own particular flaw. The one on this post is called Bad Hair Day. I have another one that I call Ten Pounds Too Heavy. The third one is Janelle Celebrates Paul Bunyan Day (I'm wearing a flannel shirt), and the fourth one is Some People Should Never, NEVER wear a hat. That's it. Four photos. I'm the one who takes the photos in this family. Seemingly, for good reason.

The next parts had blanks to fill in on my political and religious views. And there was probably the obligatory question about my favorite pet, but I skipped all of those. I have a short attention span (she said after she'd written and published 4 books).

I was anxious to get onto the next parts--sort of like plowing through a taco salad to get to the good stuff (the cheese). The next sections were about my books so I breezed through those. The last part was the killer. I was supposed to list my favorite pets and my friends. What friends? I'm a writer, am I supposed to have friends? I thought I'd search the site and find some writer friends to list. None of them were there. Not one. So why did I sweat through two hours of figuring out the program when they haven't joined themselves? How gullible am I?

If you're in facebook, please be my friend. And if not, can I borrow your cat? If not, please read my sample chapters of my new novel, Custer and His Naked Ladies on my web:

http://www.janellemerazhooper.com/

Read something different this year!

My first books:

A Three-Turtle Summer

As Brown As I Want: The Indianhead Diaries

Free Pecan Pie and Other Chick Stories (mixed genre)

That front table- Casual readers may not have noticed, but most of the books on the front tables of the glitzy bookstores are only there for 2-4 weeks, and competition for a table spot is fierce. After that, they're stashed away on the book shelves and your chance of finding them is just about nil--unless the book falls off and hits you on the toe.

My A Three-Turtle Summer was like that. It was on a front table of some bookstores for about three weeks, then it was shoved onto a top shelf that only a basketball player could reach without a ladder.

This is where traditional publishers come in. With large advertizing budgets, they try to make sure their books are not ignored by the reader. The funny thing is, often, even they can't save their own books. If a traditional publisher can't get their own books read by the public, what chance does a small niche writer, with no advertising budget have? Not much.

Most of my novels have won literary awards, but they are still unknown by almost everybody. If you go to my website, http://www.janellemerazhooper.com/ , you can read sample chapters of my books before you buy.

New in 2007!

Custer and His Naked Ladies

Don't miss it...it's a hoot!

Read something different this year! I think you'll be glad you did.